The man who invented the revolving table was probably like:

"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tres12321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Found this on r/funny, so probably a repost
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReadIt-Reddit-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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A salutary lesson. Posted to r/jokes, probably more Dad-like

Certain related tribes in sub-Saharan Africa often raided each other's villages when most folk were herding animals. Sometimes they would take vegetables and water, but more often taking little things, to gently mock each other. It was all in good fun. After a successful raid, the "winning" tribe would celebrate by dancing under the stars, or in one of their large, grass-covered spirit houses.

One day, the Imaqi took their Satari shaman's sceptre. The following day, the Satari not only stole the sceptre back, but also the Imaqi chief's regalia.

It went back and forth, until, on a rare and daring escapade, three Imaqi warriors stole the Santari chief's throne. They put it on display, above their chief's throne in the spirit house.

The Imaqi thought that this was hilarious, and as it was beginning to rain, made merry and danced in the spirit house. Suddenly, the heavy throne on display fell down and killed a number of the dancing revelers.

The moral should be obvious: those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_jq
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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An old guy goes to the chemist and asks the pharmacist, "Is there some pills that can help with sex?" The pharmacist says, "Yes, Viagra, it's awesome, I take it myself" The old guy asks, "Can you get it over the counter?" Pharmacist replies, "If I took 2 or 3, probably."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.

That snow coincidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engfish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Halloween is probably one of my more favorite holidays.

Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Venomenace
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."

"It's worth a shot!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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He probably wasn't bready for it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_night_camel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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It probably did ...
πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strName
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I probably won't see Wonder Woman 1984 when it comes out.

I still haven't seen Wonder Woman 2 through 1983.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:

You must be a Simpson then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosfordHusky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"

My response: "144? That's a gross"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Operating a solar farm is probably easy

After all, it's a light crop

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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If your name is Foster you're probably an orphan.

Because your parents are Foster parents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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It probably did
πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImElyk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LBJM18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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probably a Ford siesta because i like napping while taking a drive
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.

I was crushed by the news.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A $9.99. Nintendo Switch! If it's too good to be true, it probably is...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSonsofAtreus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Probably already here but who cares?
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Probably the scariest book of them all
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vortboy1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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She probably said, "Let's weight"
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crypt0sh0t
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.

But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but’s it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nh-278
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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There’s probably a lot of kids being conceived during this crisis

And in 13 years they will all be called quaran-teens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpydur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably a repost
πŸ‘︎ 653
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drunkyjimmybob
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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The coronavirus will probably be the closest thing to a crown that Prince Charles will ever get.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ak171
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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They probably sound really good
πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longg_Kong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...

They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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He’s probably just a little board.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pazzoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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She probably won't meat up with him anytime soon
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mathematical_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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When the first guy drank cow milk, society was probably like, "ughh, how dairy."

Dairy = dare he

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Curtains were probably invented by nudists

They didnt want someone to see them changing into something more comfortable

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightsOfPuzzles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Sourdough bread is probably my favorite bread

Seriously, it's second to Naan

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michipotz
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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My wife lamented that our newly planted hostas in the garden will probably die...

I quickly replied, if it happens, you can say Hosta la vista, baby.

That got me a round of slow clapping from the whole family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tokyo-dawn
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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If I had a Delorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theholmesian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Captain Hook probably bought his hook from a second hand store
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwoodsCoder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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In an alternate universe, there’s probably a sentient kitchen wash basin knocking at your front door. Let that sink in,
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betamax-86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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