Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?

Denial River

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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A patient was initially doubtful of the success rate and concerned about her upcoming heart transplant, but after some reassuring...

She had a change of heart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NomeSoap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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What is a bee in doubt called?

Silent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesam444
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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After watching Zack Synder's Cut vs Joss Whedon I can say without a doubt that...

Zack was leagues ahead of Joss

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Everwars
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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My wife got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop singing β€œI’m a Believer” by the Monkees. At first, I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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My favorite movie, without a doubt...

is Mrs. Fire

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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β€œMy fifth grade teacher started the first day of school by expressing her doubts and apprehension for the year ahead.”

β€œOh, that’s awful. Who was that?”

β€œMiss Givings.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellwinerugs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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No doubt about it, I caught coldvid
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OtakuShogun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Whenever I am in doubt, I resort to using my calculator.

I can always count on it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was changing over the light switch.

Haha, she's in for a shock

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.

Turns out...it was a safe purchase.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
At international cheese school what did the teacher say to Netherland's cheese when it asked a doubt?

Gouda question.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
You might think being injected with antivirus sounds boring

But it's really quite vaccinating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tapobu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Wife: Suppose you hit a jackpot of a Million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands ransom of a million , what will you do?

Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woodblockprint
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Found in r/lounge. Without a doubt the best comment chain I have seen so far.
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoeyFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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I doubted the gorgon when she said she could turn me into an insect grip, but then I saw her face...

...now I'm a bee lever.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I doubt being colorblind is a hugh problem
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gigamore412
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
For those who have doubts that they've died
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peosteve
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Having gay parents must be horrible

You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."

Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.

Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.

Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."

Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SergeantSolar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What would Hitler be called if he was Blind.

A Not See

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qui-DenSchmidt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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After years of doubt I'm now convinced my wife is having an affair...

We've moved 250 miles north and we've still got the same window cleaner!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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I doubt, therefore I might be.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs,

It’s not a beautiful poem but it is deep

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spudzzy03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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My wife showed me two quilts, and asked me which one I preferred.

I said, β€œI refuse to make blanket statements.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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When in doubt, clear cache and cookies. [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adee659
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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When I was in the army, our captain told us to dress as water dwelling birds, make quaking noises and just recline lazily in order to blend into the environment. But I doubted how effective that would be.

I was sure we’d be sitting ducks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwicanary
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
To be frank,

I’d need to change my name

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bricky-boi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss said "I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays."

I said, "It must be my weekend immune system."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What African country doubts you the most?

Kenya?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oreil087
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I wonder if talking about Freud gave him a bigger ego?
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agoddamdamn
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I doubt vodka is the answer.....

But it's worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vociferousnoodle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
A man named Dave. Long joke!

A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...

So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.

The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only chance, so he agrees reluctantly.
So he's back on Earth in this beautiful chicken coop, the sun is shining, there's green grass everywhere, this is hen paradise. The other hens greet him with delight and he tells them his story, everything goes nicely. But then he feels kind of unwell, there's something wrong with his stomach. He asks this old hen: "Tell me, I've got this weird feeling in my belly, I'm not too well. What is happening to me?"

The old hen: "Well dearie, we hens lay eggs, you know. I bet you've never laid a nice egg before... You need to push it out now, and you'll feel much better after!"
So the guy pushes and pushes, and wham, out pops his first egg. The old hen congratulates him and he feels much better. But not 5 minutes later, his pain comes back. He returns to the old hen for advice.

"Well dearie, it's quite special but it happens that you need to lay TWO eggs, so go back there and keep pushing!"
So he goes back to his nest and pushes, and nothing comes, and he pushes harder, and wham, out comes his second egg! He feels much better, but not 2 minutes later, you guessed it, he's back in terrible pain and goes to see the old hen.

"What's this bullshit here, and don't tell me I've got a third egg to lay!" The old hen can't make head or tail of it and just tells him that when in doubt, he should be pushing. So the guy goes back to work and then, wham, his wife wakes him up with this smashing slap in the face and yells: "*Dave! Dave wake up you’re

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmaff90
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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After years of searching I finally discovered the Fountain of Doubt.

I'm not sure if it works or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brother_p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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I have my doubts about becoming a furry.

It really gives me paws.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2016
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This belongs here no doubt!
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatKookiz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing β€œI'm a Believer”..

Then I saw her face...

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I doubt I'll shave at the end of November

My beard is really growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Man_of_Aluminum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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Without a doubt ,

My favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicJ20
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...

Mrs. Fire!

πŸ‘︎ 362
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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Without a doubt

My favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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What's your favorite Robin Williams movie?

Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HGMIV926
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naptownfellow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report

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