Eating a free hot dog.
Friend: How does it taste?
Me: Quite good, frankly.
Friend: Do you practice puns?
And that's the proudest I've ever felt.
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
because It didn't habenero . .
They say practice healthy eating…
Did you hear about the queue for practical jokes?
It was a great punch-line.
I started practicing complementary medicine.
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.
They’re free range archers now.
What do you call a killing before yoga practice?
Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...
I’m not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!
Making pennies is very practical...
My son had a rough time at little league practice - after striking out three times, he lost interest and wouldn’t stop smelling the dandelions in the outfield, getting one stuck in his nose.
I’m not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks.
It helps me speak boulder.
My army instructor told me he didn’t see me at camouflage practice today.
“Thank you, sir!” I replied.
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
I'm not a dad yet, but I'm practicing for when I am (should be in about 20 years)
Me: "I've been getting better at biking with no hands"
Mum: "That's a handy skill"
Me: "Actually it's a no handy skill"
Everyone keeps telling me to practice social distancing,
but when am I supposed to stop practicing and actually do it?
I had a minor accident at the practice
Accidentally played a major
My son thought males and females were practically the same...
I told him there was a vas deferens.
what was the veterinary arrested for
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
I may not be a dad for a while, but I’m getting some good practice in.
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
I was having trouble playing a song on guitar and my teacher said "practice to a tick"
It didn't work at all and now I have Lyme disease
What do you call sick highschoolers who practice social distancing?
I dated a minor once
He was practically inseparable from his pickaxe
Wife: Remember to practice safe snacks and to use condiments
Me: Baby stop, you’re making me hungry
Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell
In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.
What type of practice is Dr. Pepper?
I've been practicing one-armed pushups recently,
I'm so good now I can do them two at a time.
I will not be practicing social distancing..
I am much safer with my usual anti social distancing.
I read an article about Eskimo hunting practices today
Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.
All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.
I always use avocados in target practice...
I guess you could make some Glockamole.
inspiration < looking at things practically
With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved
I don't practice "social distancing."
After 30 years of social anxiety and a deep disgust of humanity in general, I operate on an "expert" level.
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery
Because it didn't habanero
Why couldn't the Green Pepper practice Archery?
because it didn't habanero
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
. . . because it didn't habanero!
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