Someone asked me to name a greater philosopher than Nietzsche.
Drinking beer with a philosopher....
Makes you nothing Budweiser.
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?
What do you call a flirty Greek philosopher?
Which philosopher do cows love the most?
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?
Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
What does the philosophical dolphin think about?
The founder of modern study.
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
An offer you can't understand.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
.
...or was it Sock-rates?
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophers’ names
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
A friend didn't want to stop telling me all about his philosophical ideas.
So I told him to stop being such a Kant!
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
This is an image of an obese, yet philosophical man of the cloth.
What do they call a philosophical monk that works at McDonald's?
I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
What do you call a philosopher who is unable to do anything?
Who was the fastest philosopher?
Which philosophical text do children best relate with?
Play Dough’s “The Republic”
Did you hear about the incredibly average philosopher?
His name was mediocrates.
What did the photocopier philosopher say?
What do you call it if you have philosophical conversation with a friend when the weekend starts?
He was the greatest philosopher of the canine community.
Me, trying to sound smart: So, who is your favorite philosopher?
Her: It’s Hume.
Me: Sorry, whom is your favorite philosopher?
What is the name of the greatest philosopher to ever live?
Philosophical Hunger
Yesterday, I purchased 2 sandwiches because I was very hungry - a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. My dilemma was I had no idea which one I should eat first.
What is the english philosopher’s favourite food
How did they recover the frozen philosopher from the ice?
The process was simple; it was well thought out.
Greek philosophers have strange names
Why was the philosophical, overweight monk always greasy?
Because he was a deep fat friar
Philosophers have really good....
Depth perception
This is deep
My friends always say contemplating the meaning of art is the most philosophical side to art...
But when I’m drawing, deciding “2B or not 2B” is the real question.
A Buddhist monk leave the monastery...
Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.
One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"
To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."
I was asked to give the first initial and last name of my favorite philosopher
Which philosopher was the best footballer?
If you're thinking of becoming a philosopher, be mindful of many things.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
The philosopher of shit-talking.
Shamelessly stolen from mock the week
Look said Harry: "Wittgenstein's having a spliff - the philosopher's stoned!"
What did the philosopher say when he fell overboard?
I sink, therefore I swam.
What do you call a flirtatious philosopher?
I am teaching my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
What do you call a mean philosopher?
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