"I Have A Split Personality"

Said Tom, being Frank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxxSnack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Why do type-A personalities like to camp?

They are already in-tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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what is the sleepiest personality type?

IN-PJ's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/super_dab_boi_22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Batteries have split personalities

On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Her personality is like a box of Tide

All it does is deter gents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eventualmente
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.

I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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How a carpenter describes his personality on a dating app

Woodsy

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I have an Irish friend with a great personality that always bounces off the walls.

His name is Rick O’Shea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-polymath
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,

but we're okay now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CNRavenclaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What is SpongeBob’s least desirable personality trait?

He’s too self absorbed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"

Me : "Who? Me or me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didn’t like that basic personality trait

They thought I was such a plane guy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notmyname3623
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.

"It's not our fault" said the librarian,

"That's the one" I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Woke up with this joke from a dream I had last night. β€œWhat personality trait is the most cleansing?”

Good Moral Fiber.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lefthandedfreak
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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There are 4 sides to my brother’s personality.

That being said, the guy is pretty square.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?

Bananas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boboknowsall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once

"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theverywetbanana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Now he has a colourful personality!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stolen_Burrito
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have multiple personalities

And so do I

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatcornellbitch
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.

Their names are crabA and crabB

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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My wife told me I have a magnetic personality.

I wasn't sure if that's a positive or a negative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance?

There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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My knees have different personalities

My left knee is the boring knee. My other knee is the fun knee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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In the capital of Taiwan I met so many Taipei personalities.

.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewszabo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...

They develop attic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ponderingfox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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What do you call someone with a very colorful personality?

A hue-man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeoxysSpeedForm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
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What do you get when you have two Type A personalities fighting?

AA Battery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drawsprocket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?

Because it has only one I.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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Asked my dad to take the Myers-Briggs personality test

He said his result was ARSE.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/verticalData1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
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What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?

They've got an altar ego.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dimentioze
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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Vampires must have really shallow personalities.

Because they are non-reflective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dockerhate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2016
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I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.

I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grousing_pheasant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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New Friend Personality Test

ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?

New Friend: No! Who was it?

ME: Reese... Reese...something...

NF: Witherspoon?

ME: No, no, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SledgeHog
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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I have a multi-personality disorder

And so do I

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mariataytay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
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Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?

Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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"I have a split personality disorder"

Said Tom being Frank

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheViralClovers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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β€œI have a split personality,” said Tom, being Frank.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deanosuprema
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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I have a split personality

Said Tom, being frank

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gearidall_M_Grey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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"I have a split personality"

Said Tom, being frank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregofdeath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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"I have a split personality."

...said Tom, being frank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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