"I Have A Split Personality"
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Why do type-A personalities like to camp?
They are already in-tents.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
what is the sleepiest personality type?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Batteries have split personalities
On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he wonβt do that.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
How a carpenter describes his personality on a dating app
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︎ Sep 26 2020
I have an Irish friend with a great personality that always bounces off the walls.
His name is Rick OβShea.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What is SpongeBobβs least desirable personality trait?
Heβs too self absorbed.
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︎ Apr 04 2020
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"
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︎ May 27 2020
I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didnβt like that basic personality trait
They thought I was such a plane guy
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.
"It's not our fault" said the librarian,
"That's the one" I replied.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Woke up with this joke from a dream I had last night. βWhat personality trait is the most cleansing?β
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︎ May 17 2020
There are 4 sides to my brotherβs personality.
That being said, the guy is pretty square.
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︎ Apr 07 2020
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Now he has a colourful personality!
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have multiple personalities
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︎ May 07 2019
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
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︎ Aug 14 2019
My wife told me I have a magnetic personality.
I wasn't sure if that's a positive or a negative.
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︎ Jul 04 2019
Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance?
There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.
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︎ May 15 2018
My knees have different personalities
My left knee is the boring knee. My other knee is the fun knee
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︎ Mar 04 2019
In the capital of Taiwan I met so many Taipei personalities.
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︎ Oct 27 2018
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...
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︎ Apr 07 2018
What do you call someone with a very colorful personality?
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︎ Jul 07 2017
What do you get when you have two Type A personalities fighting?
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︎ Apr 03 2017
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?
Because it has only one I.
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︎ Jun 19 2017
Asked my dad to take the Myers-Briggs personality test
He said his result was ARSE.
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︎ Aug 03 2016
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?
They've got an altar ego.
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︎ Dec 28 2014
Vampires must have really shallow personalities.
Because they are non-reflective.
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︎ Feb 06 2016
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
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︎ Oct 14 2014
New Friend Personality Test
ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?
New Friend: No! Who was it?
ME: Reese... Reese...something...
NF: Witherspoon?
ME: No, no, it was with a knife...
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︎ May 06 2015
I have a multi-personality disorder
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︎ Aug 15 2013
Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?
Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!
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︎ Jun 23 2014
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
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︎ Nov 03 2019
"I have a split personality disorder"
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︎ Jul 27 2020
βI have a split personality,β said Tom, being Frank.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I have a split personality
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︎ Oct 18 2019
"I have a split personality"
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︎ Nov 04 2019
"I have a split personality."
...said Tom, being frank.
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︎ Jun 18 2018
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