I hate peer pressure

Unless my friends like it, then I guess it's cool

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pray4judo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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Everyone in my peer group was using State Farm for insurance...

So I decided to go with the Flo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2020
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Pier like peer lol πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youre-boi-alosha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2018
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Two scholars were peer reviewing papers about the ocean...

One turned to the other and said "There's no information about whales here."

The other responded "Ok, we'll have to make a note, 'cetacean needed.'"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aenemius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2019
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TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.

Oops, wrong sub.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2018
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Timmy the tugboat captain would never forgive his peers after they would steal barge-moving jobs from him.

He definitely harbored a grudge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
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Conversation between Lincoln and his peers

Lincoln: I shall abolish slavery in the country of freedom Peers: what in tarnation ?? Lincoln: yes, this entire nation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jalelninj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2018
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My celestial peers don't find me attractive due to my lack of gravity (x-post from /r/fifthworldproblems)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2016
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Modern peer-to-peer technology ipfs.pics/QmVt8Mk3SGw3rRh…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yousosweg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2015
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Peer Pressure

http://imgur.com/wCdmKk3

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Axeofdeath
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2016
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If you don't want the peer pressure...

...get a boat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Djuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2015
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It might crack under pressure.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SorenRL
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/myre_or_less
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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Warning!

Be aware We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) I went to pick it up last night and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Weedwacker01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.

Her name is Dee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 459
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArshmanR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2019
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Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test things, tucked behind the cupboard...

... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?

He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

Finally, he could take it no longer...

"Bethany..." he said

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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When I was a teenager, I wanted to join a pyramid scheme.

But my mummy wouldn't let me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Millenial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2020
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I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.

That’ll be the Peer review.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoFussNoCoconutters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
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I’m trying to be a sociopath, but I’m not that great in manipulating people.

I’m more of a so-so path.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2018
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Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked β€œwhat’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, β€œyou can talk?”

β€œYes” the well said, β€œlong ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

β€œAlas” the woman said, β€œI am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

β€œDo not be afraid” the well said, β€œI will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ManGood2002
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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This is absolutely horrible

Why did the shower head do drugs

peer PRESSURE

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThatOnePillowPet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2019
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I look at guys using adjacent urinals.

I peer peer peers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pizzarrow9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
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Why don't torrenters ever get convicted?

Because they're generous seeders, and they have to be tried by a jury of their peers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2019
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The pearly gates

St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"

"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"

"Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."

"Sounds easy enough. OK."

So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?"

The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."

Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked.

"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."

Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"

"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."

Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?"

The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2019
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What do you call the colleagues who visit the restrooms together?

Peers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bubi093
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2018
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Did you know the song "Toxic" is based on people she was at school with?

Britney's peers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2018
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There was once a priest who was constantly doing jumping jacks.

His peers immediately recognized his vast experience exorcising.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2018
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The funniest thing my dad has said

My dad and I were watching tv one night and the screen suddenly goes black. After watching the blank screen for a good 10 seconds, he finally breaks the silence by saying "If anyone were to peer in at us right now, they'd think we're insane."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fishbiscuit47
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2013
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A worker got me

Peer:My eyelid has been twitching for a week. I am just going to cut it off Me: Have you tried banana's? (the potassium should help) Peer: Nope, don't think it is sharp enough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlphaQUp_Bish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2016
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dad joking grandpa, once a dad always a dad.

I pulled my car over on my way home today because it started smoking (I cracked a head gasket) so I called my grandpa because he is the mechanic of my family and he only lives a mile from where I pulled over.

I told him that my car was smoking and I needed his help to find out what was wrong with it.

"It's probably peer pressure, make it smoke the rest of the pack and see how it likes it then"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 690
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kinison-brand-coke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2014
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One of my employees urinated on himself today at work...

He's one of my peers.

Edit: Cuz I'm editing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RiftedEnergy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2018
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My girlfriend was trying to title her presentation. I'm not a dad yet but... I think I'm ready.

So my girlfriend has to write a presentation about the effects of intense pressure from parents (forced religion etc.) on children. The conversation went like this.

Her- "What do I title this?"
Me- "What about 'Peer-ent Pressure'?"

Groans were had.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jellymuncher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2015
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The Tale of Stanley Shithead

Stanley Shithead was made fun of for his entire life. "Shithead, Shithead, Shithead", his peers in highscool would chant. "Hey Shithead, have you finished your paperwork?", his co-workers would tease.

Stanley had had enough of this. He was going to change his name once and for all!

"Here's your paycheck, Mr. Shithead"

"Please, call me Chris"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stampytheman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2017
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After years of torment, I finally got my dad back at lunch today

We met up at a restaurant, and I ordered some kind of fancy taco. Halfway through the meal, he looks over at the dribbling mess my taco had become and says, "Looks like your taco has a leak."

I carefully set the taco down, opened it up, peered at it for a moment, and replied, "Nope, I think that's an onion."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hollowbody57
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2016
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I just told this one!

I'm sitting in a conference room with a couple of team members. When people for the next meeting start milling about outside the conference room, some people get antsy and start peering into the room through the window when it's almost time to vacate the conference room.

I just joked that it's a new form of peer pressure!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/curzyk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2015
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At our town's 4th of July fireworks show, a vendor was selling pet turtles. My wife, impulsive animal lover that she is, bought one.

After the fireworks, we were gathering up our things to leave. She asked if her new turtle was OK. I picked up its little carrier, peered inside, and said, "It looks a little shell-shocked."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlmostDisjoint
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2017
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Pun help?

I am known among my peers as one who makes puns for people's birthdays (eg: someones last name was Rawlinson, so I said have a BAWLINson birthday). But, this time, I am having a hard time making a pun. The name is Kolton, sometimes known as Kolt. May the puns be with you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weiners101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2014
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I hate peer pressure

...and so should you!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2018
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**** PLEASE BE AWARE ****

We ordered a Chinese last from a local place in downtown (we won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!!

I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.

I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the chili beef.

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

A Peeking Duck

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/createsean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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Be vigilant

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. πŸ˜•

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beanieboombaby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2019
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