Jurassic Parker.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Peter Parker.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle

Now he works in web development.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riversquid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?

Peter Barker

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_love_monkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jurassicbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood?

He uses his spider census.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashiellbalder
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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My doctors name is Peter Parker.

But I just call him Web MD.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/America024
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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What was Peter Parker’s favorite drug?

Mary Jane

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTeachClassics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I'm going to get a job as a valet attendant, come dressed up as Spider-Man, and introduce myself as "Peter the Parker"
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TISparta217
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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Peter Parker didn’t always want to be a super hero

He originally had dreams of being a web designer

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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When Mary Jane and Peter Parker hit a rough patch,

She cut off ties to spite her man.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Where *should* Peter Parker sell his photos of Spiderman?

The web...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g4gnr4d
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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How does Peter Parker view porn? On his spider web.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanRebalkin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Why does Peter Parker need lotion?

He's ashy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Would evil alternate-universe Spiderman be a bad parallel parker?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kazhiim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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The true origin of Peter Parker's spider sense

With great power comes great response ability

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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Comcast/Verizon is looking to buy Parker Bros. next....

So that they can have two "Monopoly"s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasquatchent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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I like this one better
πŸ‘︎ 832
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I saw a man pushing around a cart of saltpeter, he immediately stopped when he saw someone doing something nefarious.

Or you could say the peter parker, spied a man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Accendil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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What do you call your friendly neighborhood valet?

Peter Parker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nottherealdusk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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When Spider-Man’s twin children are learning to drive...

They’re parallel Parkers.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnochi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?

Pita Parker

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barcosbarcos
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?

Peta Parker

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IfuM52
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Im stuff

Peter Parker: Sorry i was late, i was doing stuff. MJ: Im stuff Peter Parker: omg MJ NOOO! Tony Stark: laughing Pete, your girlfriend is awesomesauce Dad: hi stuff, im dad

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ducc777
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Who was the first web designer?

A spider.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/47o9er
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
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I am very, very skilled at parking. I could probably park a car in any spot you think wouldn't be possible.

One could say I'm a hardcore parker.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PooterContributor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Where does Clark Kent put his breakfast?

In a super bowl

^^^^^^yaaaaay...

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix136
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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I once knew a pen that drove a paper car which always seemed to be ripped.

He was a tearable Parker.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maximus_Gainius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
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Spider-Man catches a guy stealing a six-pack from a convenience store...

The guy puts down the beer and runs away. Spidey picks up the beer to take it back to the store, but he pauses. In a moment of weakness, he takes the beer home for himself.

That's how Peter Parker pinched a pack of pilfered Pilsners.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenSeaBreeze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Certain line from The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Harry Osborne: "It's been 10 years. What have you been up to?"

Peter Parker: "I do some web design"

Made me laugh quite a bit. Can't remember if it was in the film or not, but here it is in the trailer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlasticSoul1297
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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What do you call Spider-Man working as a valet?

Peter Parker.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamjustlurkingrn
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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What would you call Spider-Man if he was a valet?

Peter Parker.

πŸ‘︎ 699
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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
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If Spiderman was a valet attendant how would he introduce himself?

Hi, I'm Peter the Parker.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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