Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?
Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.
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︎ May 05 2021
Who is William DeFoeβs arch enemy?
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︎ Mar 31 2021
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
William Shatner, Star Trekβs Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched womenβs underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying βShatner Pantiesβ.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?
They need to stop Robin Williams
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︎ Feb 21 2021
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
What's your favorite Robin Williams movie?
Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.
He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."
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︎ Dec 20 2020
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection...
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
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︎ Apr 19 2019
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
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︎ Oct 16 2020
So my name is William
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?
Me: They call me both.
Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.
I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?
But βShatner Pantiesβ was not a good business.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
Iβm terrible with directions but my friend William always knows where to go.
When thereβs a Will, thereβs a way.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
William is nervous about his life prospects
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, βWhatβs your favourite planet?β
Her: Itβs Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
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︎ Mar 08 2020
My pal William is a hard worker.
In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...
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︎ Jun 24 2020
When does Serena Williams usually go to sleep?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.
A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast
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︎ Mar 13 2020
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...
Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.
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︎ Nov 18 2017
I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the letteringβs all faded.
Iβm not sure whether itβs 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.
It's my sheer Will power.
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︎ Feb 13 2020
My friend changed his name from William to Lawrence
Thatβs how a Bill becomes a Law.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.
He just loves to score movies
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︎ Feb 26 2020
William has me wondering if i am or am not.
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︎ Jan 29 2019
Because of a clerical error at the hospital we named both of our twin boys William.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
I want to build a giant Robin Williams inspired house
I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.
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︎ Jan 09 2020
When William joined the army,
He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
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︎ Dec 14 2019
I am never going to hire anyone named William.
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︎ Nov 01 2019
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
But they didnβt planet.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar
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︎ Oct 29 2020
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ May 26 2020
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...
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︎ May 21 2019
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Jul 27 2019
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.
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︎ Dec 06 2019
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection!
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︎ Oct 27 2019
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