Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,

we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PavilionFlux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn't planet.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?

Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?

William DeFriend

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_sobe87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.

The dirty bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...

Apparently, nobody was interested in buying β€˜Shatner Panties’.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?

They need to stop Robin Williams

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emobatmanforever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.

We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.

πŸ‘︎ 438
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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What's your favorite Robin Williams movie?

Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HGMIV926
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.

He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theatremom2016
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.

"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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So my name is William

And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?

Me: They call me both.

Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.

I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EatATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?

But β€œShatner Panties” was not a good business.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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I’m terrible with directions but my friend William always knows where to go.

When there’s a Will, there’s a way.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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William is nervous about his life prospects

Will is future tense

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, β€œWhat’s your favourite planet?”

Her: It’s Venus.

Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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My pal William is a hard worker.

In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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When does Serena Williams usually go to sleep?

Tenish.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobooaboo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.

A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...

Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oove22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
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I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.

I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthew2112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.

It's my sheer Will power.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rapidwave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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My friend changed his name from William to Lawrence

That’s how a Bill becomes a Law.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.

He just loves to score movies

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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William has me wondering if i am or am not.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gboy7373
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Because of a clerical error at the hospital we named both of our twin boys William.

They billed us twice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I want to build a giant Robin Williams inspired house

I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheerfulsith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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When William joined the army,

He disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeJash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.

People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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I am never going to hire anyone named William.

I hate paying bills!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.

But they didn’t planet.

πŸ‘︎ 574
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar

But they didn't planet

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 391
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...

Mrs. Fire!

πŸ‘︎ 368
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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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