My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.

She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
With the pandemic, we all had to fight through 2020.

But in the end; 2021.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EasternPepper
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
[Dark] Reports came out that suicide rates actually dropped during the pandemic despite people's worst fears. I guess it's true what they say...

No noose is good noose.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClawBadger
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do Jawas do during a pandemic?

They "quarantini"!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aka_Jack
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.

Global chaos ensues.

The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleibanez801
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my suitcase there will not be any vacation due to pandemic

I am now dealing with emotional baggage

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel like the stress of the pandemic has really aged me...

...I look at least a year older.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jclcwca0987
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...

That's pretty good thyme-Ming.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
This pandemic will most likely be remembered as the....

Pack-age.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOrderDis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
You know what group of people that have been struggling with the pandemic?

Flat Earthers. Social distancing is really putting them over the edge

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
TV repair during the pandemic has been pretty easy.

It’s mostly remote work.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If you wear glasses and have been required to wear a mask during the COVID pandemic, you may be entitled to condensation.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the pandemic has gotten so bad, they’re letting veterinarians give shots now?

My dog prefers the tequila.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What is something that is only considered positive during this pandemic?

Being negative and smelling like alcohol.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonDrizzle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Correct me if I’m wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?

You know, Salsa Distancing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaramelLow8561
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Since the start of the pandemic, my friend the baker shut down his bakery and happily idles the day away...

He always liked loafing around.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œBecause of the pandemic, I’m on the computer 12 hours a day. Is that bad?”

Me: That can’t be comfortable. Try a chair instead.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
The composer whom best suits this pandemic is...

Drycoughski.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tawdry-eloquence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
We really should have expected last year's pandemic.

But then, hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are peeping Toms are having a difficult time with the pandemic?

Because it’s very hard for them to lurk from home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a young adult who can’t leave her house due to a pandemic?

Quaran-teen

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
PSA: Do NOT download any text books about pandemics.

My son did and now he has a bunch of viruses on his computer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.

I thought they'd be smaller.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdarigan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A tire company got hit hard by the pandemic.

First off, not many people were buying tires, as they were driving less. Then the warehouse got robbed. To add insult to injury, the place caught on fire. For them it really hasn’t been a Goodyear.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate to be a pessimist about this pandemic thing...

But I’m negative.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Random-Human-Unit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which jokes are safest during the recent pandemic?

Inside jokes

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacenerdgasms
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic...

Without all those tourists helping hold it up.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bourque25
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?

My deaf friend: heard immunity

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to open a restaurant that doesn’t do anything to prevent spreading the pandemic

It’s called Thai Food Mary

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...

We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are pirates bad for a pandemic?

Why are pirates bad for a pandemic?

Because they keep raising the Arrr number!

(my first dadjokes post!)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IndySun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
This pandemic means I'm having to walk everywhere...

Getting tired of this car owner virus

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/listenup78
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
No one likes this pandemic. Well, no one apart from Bane..

No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.

Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/25BicsOnMyBureau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If we wanted evangelical Christians to take the pandemic as a serious threat...

... we should have called it the Quran-o-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ballpressure
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.

Together we can stop the spread.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How is everyone staying safe during the pandemic at the north pole?

They use a lot of hand santatizer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slaydawgjim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s my birthday today and no party is planned due to pandemic. And my daughter said this to cheer me up.

β€œYou will have your cake and eat it too.”

PS: this is the best gift I can get today.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shishir-nsane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Because of the pandemic the 7 dwarves have been told they can only meet in groups of 6...

One of them is not Happy!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjdiver2001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.

It's a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...

Now his sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DNDLoser07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.

Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

πŸ‘︎ 747
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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