My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
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︎ May 09 2021
With the pandemic, we all had to fight through 2020.
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︎ May 07 2021
[Dark] Reports came out that suicide rates actually dropped during the pandemic despite people's worst fears. I guess it's true what they say...
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︎ May 07 2021
What do Jawas do during a pandemic?
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︎ May 04 2021
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
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︎ May 04 2021
I told my suitcase there will not be any vacation due to pandemic
I am now dealing with emotional baggage
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︎ May 01 2021
I feel like the stress of the pandemic has really aged me...
...I look at least a year older.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...
That's pretty good thyme-Ming.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
This pandemic will most likely be remembered as the....
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︎ Apr 17 2021
You know what group of people that have been struggling with the pandemic?
Flat Earthers. Social distancing is really putting them over the edge
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︎ Apr 11 2021
TV repair during the pandemic has been pretty easy.
Itβs mostly remote work.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
If you wear glasses and have been required to wear a mask during the COVID pandemic, you may be entitled to condensation.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Did you know that the pandemic has gotten so bad, theyβre letting veterinarians give shots now?
My dog prefers the tequila.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
What is something that is only considered positive during this pandemic?
Being negative and smelling like alcohol.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Correct me if Iβm wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?
You know, Salsa Distancing.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Since the start of the pandemic, my friend the baker shut down his bakery and happily idles the day away...
He always liked loafing around.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
My son asked me, βBecause of the pandemic, Iβm on the computer 12 hours a day. Is that bad?β
Me: That canβt be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
The composer whom best suits this pandemic is...
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︎ Jan 09 2021
We really should have expected last year's pandemic.
But then, hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Why are peeping Toms are having a difficult time with the pandemic?
Because itβs very hard for them to lurk from home.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What do you call a young adult who canβt leave her house due to a pandemic?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
PSA: Do NOT download any text books about pandemics.
My son did and now he has a bunch of viruses on his computer.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
A tire company got hit hard by the pandemic.
First off, not many people were buying tires, as they were driving less. Then the warehouse got robbed. To add insult to injury, the place caught on fire. For them it really hasnβt been a Goodyear.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I hate to be a pessimist about this pandemic thing...
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Which jokes are safest during the recent pandemic?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic...
Without all those tourists helping hold it up.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?
My deaf friend: heard immunity
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Iβm going to open a restaurant that doesnβt do anything to prevent spreading the pandemic
Itβs called Thai Food Mary
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Why are pirates bad for a pandemic?
Why are pirates bad for a pandemic?
Because they keep raising the Arrr number!
(my first dadjokes post!)
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︎ Oct 23 2020
This pandemic means I'm having to walk everywhere...
Getting tired of this car owner virus
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︎ Oct 22 2020
No one likes this pandemic. Well, no one apart from Bane..
No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.
Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
If we wanted evangelical Christians to take the pandemic as a serious threat...
... we should have called it the Quran-o-virus.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.
Together we can stop the spread.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
How is everyone staying safe during the pandemic at the north pole?
They use a lot of hand santatizer.
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︎ Oct 10 2020
The Egyptian government has asked Cairoβs taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm βEm will last a week.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Itβs my birthday today and no party is planned due to pandemic. And my daughter said this to cheer me up.
βYou will have your cake and eat it too.β
PS: this is the best gift I can get today.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Because of the pandemic the 7 dwarves have been told they can only meet in groups of 6...
One of them is not Happy!
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I have a friend who owns a yachting business, but had to work from home due to the pandemic...
Now his sails are through the roof.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
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