What animal needs oiling?
Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?
People were offended when I told them a joke about oil.
They did not like my crude humor. I'll have to refine it.
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...
Which country has the most oil?
I went on a date, and all she kept talking about for three hours was olive oil
I’m thinking extra virgin
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
I tried my wife's essential oils for the first time today.
Worst french fries I've ever had.
Why is it so hard to impress oil connoisseurs?
My wife shouted, “You’re shirtless and also covered in oil?” I chuckled, “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.”
“Listen! You never listen!”
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives..
I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.
If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate. If someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate. What do you call someone who makes their fortune...
Martin finds an old oil lamp
Genie: "You get three wishes. I can't kill anybody, I can't make anybody fall in love, I can't bring anybody back from the dead, and you can't wish for more wishes."
Alladin: "I wish that I was rich!"
Genie: "Done."
Rich: "... I wish that I have a lot of money."
I left it late to get a gift for my mum for Mother’s Day. Ended up at a petrol station. I bought her some Lorry Oil...
What did the oil say when it crashed it's price into negative value?
If you’re thinking about doing something illegal oil yourself up first.
That way you’re a smooth criminal.
I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules
Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries
What helps a pirates hair grow?
What kind of oil does Popeyes Chicken use?
A jar of peanut butter needed an oil change
What did the oil lamp say to the flickering candle?
Do you want to go out sometime soon?
Q. What's the most important thing you can do with crude oil?
A. Teach it proper manners!
Brought it in for an oil change, says he only drives it from time to time.
“Oil on Canvas.”—- Anonymous Artist, circa 21st century.
“Oil on canvas”——Anonymous Artist, circa 21st century.
Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is...
nothing more than mustard seed emulsified with oil. So mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts...
I Can’t Believe It’s Newt Butter.
How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?
After getting dating advice from a Redditor.
Oil on canvas. Hehe (best part? It was painted with acrylic!)
What's a ducks favorite motor oil?
Oil bet this would be great to drive out and go star gazing with
Olive oil
My uncle Arnie asked me if I knew where extra virgin olive oil came from. I said no and he said very ugly trees.
Someone shipped me a box of essential oils
And now I have a case of the vapors
Why don’t owls breed in the rain?
Because it’s too wet to woo.
What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?
I got some new Star Trek garden insecticide
It's called Leonard Neem Oil
Is that vegetable oil?
"No I melted some butter"
"Thanks for clarifying"
I heard "Starry Night" was painted with oils
I could use it to make my Van Go
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
Someone just threw a bottle of Omega-3 and it hit my forehead
I have super fish oil injuries.
Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is actually...
nothing more than good, old-fashioned ground mustard seed emulsified in oil. This means mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts... I can’t believe it’s newt butter.
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