I went to a Superman themed nightclub

Everyone looked really fly...

also there was a massive line for the cloakroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beastieboys1987
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What does a dog in a nightclub do?

They raise the woof!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrikingDebate2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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We should go to that nightclub
πŸ‘︎ 267
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SalazarRED
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Cemeteries are like exclusive nightclubs.

People are dying to get inside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prophylaxitive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My favorite nightclub
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehssie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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As an owner of a nightclub, I had small insects discourage unsavory types from entering my establishment...

They were my deter ants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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A man went to a nightclub with a piece of string.

The bouncer said, "You can't come in. You haven't got a tie."

The man replied "Yes, I have. It's this piece of string."

The man asked the string "Are you a tie?"

The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B_scuit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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My new nightclub for giants finally opened. It took over 7 years of planning and we only had one rule...

It was no small feat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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I was in a nightclub grinding on a girl.

When someone said, "What the fuck are you doing with that skateboard?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I was in the queue for a nightclub. Just as I was about to walk in the bouncers put their arms out to stop me.

They said, "You can't come in, we're full."

I said, "I'll come back when you're hungry then."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, A Welshman, An American, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, a South African, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Buddhist went to a nightclub.

The doorman said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
A Lamborghini rolls into a nightclub.

It’s stopped in its tracks by the bouncer.

β€œWhoa, whoa, whoa! No spoilers!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I went to a nightclub called Dislocated Bodies.

Everyone there seemed a bit out of place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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Two bouncers stop a sink at the door to a nightclub

The sink tells one of the bouncers: β€œCome on I’ve had a rough day, just let me in why don’t you. The bouncer replies: β€œMaybe you’re not the only one that’s had a bad day, maybe I have too. Let that sink in.” The second bouncer opens the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Delsincameback
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
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Elon Musk says "Mars will need everything from iron foundries to pizza joints to nightclubs: Mars should really have great bars."

"The Mars Bar."

This was a legit quote from Musk at South by Southwest. He followed it by saying "I love dad jokes"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fricks_and_stones
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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Did you hear about the Nightclub 'Erectile Dysfunction'?

It was a total flop!

No body came!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZyeoSero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
🚨︎ report
The hottest nightclub in town.

As a chronic dad-joker, I'm always on the lookout for opportunities.

Today, while getting groceries, I saw a cheerful fellow chatting it up with two women.

In passing, I commented on the group's clear enjoyment of each other's company, when he suddenly declared, "I just found out these two ladies run the hottest nightclub in town!"

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Really? Maybe they should...install some air conditioning."


I saw myself out. (Of the shopping aisle. Immediately.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinJamm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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I want to start a nightclub for animal rights activists. We'll call it the "Seal Club."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trampabroad
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
🚨︎ report
I went to a Superman themed nightclub.

Everyone looked really fly, but there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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