Neil Armstrong went through many keyboards
He kept wearing out the space key.
My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses
So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
Rick Harris hooked up with this girl using his brother Neil's pick-up line...
The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?
I hear that Neil Armstrong was very comfortable when he landed on the Moon.
And from the pictures I saw, his suit does seem like it has a lot of space inside
What do you get when you mix COVID-19 and Neil Diamond?
Sweeeet quarantiiiiine...
Video title: Neil deGrasse Tyson defends Elon Musk smoking Weed
What is Shaquille O'Neil's favourite Middle Eastern dish?
I've heard that Neil Armstrong used to tell really boring jokes about the moon that nobody understood.
I guess you had to be there.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
(My dad dropped this one out of nowhere over coffee this morning.)
This guy comes up to me at the karaoke bar and asks, "Are you the guy who spends all night singing Neil Diamond songs?"
If Neil Young was a leprechaun what would be the name of his #1 single?
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
Neil DeGrasse Tyson's dad joke
If the Chicago Bears moved to Detroit, then Detroit would have the Lions, the Tigers, and the Bears. Oh MI!
If Shaquille O'Neil was arrested what would the officers put on him?
LTR:FTP Why did Neil Armstrong's son get sent home from school...
Because he was being astronaughty
My daughter new from the opener this was one of my made up cringmiesters.
Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
Wife of Neil Degrasse Tyson: I love you, Honey.
Neil Degrasse Tyson: Your presence makes my dopamine and oxytocin levels higher too.
Today is Neil Young's 70th birthday
This literally just happened.
Context: I'm 30yrs old. Got my own place. My dad and his business partner are staying with me for a meeting they have in the morning. Dad's friend is browsing the news on his laptop. He casually says Neil Young's birthday is today. He's 70 years old.
My dad goes "I guess he's Neil Old now"
Is it a sign of getting old when I find his dad jokes hilarious?
My dad's go-to joke: "Why didn't Neil Armstrong's wife go with him to the moon?"
The joke usually starts like this:
"hey..."
"yeah?"
"so uh... you know who neil armstrong is?(was)"
"......yeah?"
"....who was he?"
"uh... wasn't he the first man on the moon?"
"yep. Did you know he didn't take his wife with him when he went to the moon?"
"Um... I guess?"
"Do you know why?"
"....no...?"
"Because he ASKED HER NOT!!"
(astronaut) :|
Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted a Dad joke!
https://twitter.com/neiltyson/statuses/429325051679084544
Neil deGrasse Tyson gets out-dadjoked by his daughter.
Sonjoke: My dad's name is Neil. Whenever there's a call for him....
"Hello?"
"Neil?"
"Make me!"
(silence...confusion...explanation of the joke...)
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
When I went to Karaoke Night, I was asked, "You the guy who only sings Neil Diamond songs?"
Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal...
...until the pressure got to him...
Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
