Neil with a dunk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Neil Armstrong went through many keyboards

He kept wearing out the space key.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses

So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Runningforbeer343
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.

Yup. His name is Moe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Neil Before me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlimDickMcFatNuts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Rick Harris hooked up with this girl using his brother Neil's pick-up line...

The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Neil before me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AffeDaBoss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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I hear that Neil Armstrong was very comfortable when he landed on the Moon.

And from the pictures I saw, his suit does seem like it has a lot of space inside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Neil Degrass Tyson
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jif_of_Bag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What do you get when you mix COVID-19 and Neil Diamond?

Sweeeet quarantiiiiine...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frasier_n_Chill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Video title: Neil deGrasse Tyson defends Elon Musk smoking Weed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saiib0t
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What is Shaquille O'Neil's favourite Middle Eastern dish?

Shaqshouka

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheckMisan
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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I've heard that Neil Armstrong used to tell really boring jokes about the moon that nobody understood.

I guess you had to be there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MazzukaMy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?

He wanted to go where no man had gone before.

(My dad dropped this one out of nowhere over coffee this morning.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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This guy comes up to me at the karaoke bar and asks, "Are you the guy who spends all night singing Neil Diamond songs?"

"I am", I said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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If Neil Young was a leprechaun what would be the name of his #1 single?

Pot of Gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...

So he put in a Rush order!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."

"And he won?" I asked.

"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
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Neil DeGrasse Tyson's dad joke

If the Chicago Bears moved to Detroit, then Detroit would have the Lions, the Tigers, and the Bears. Oh MI!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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If Shaquille O'Neil was arrested what would the officers put on him?

Shaqles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trialander
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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LTR:FTP Why did Neil Armstrong's son get sent home from school...

Because he was being astronaughty

My daughter new from the opener this was one of my made up cringmiesters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RanSingh2019
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
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πŸ‘€︎ u/opethlike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Wife of Neil Degrasse Tyson: I love you, Honey.

Neil Degrasse Tyson: Your presence makes my dopamine and oxytocin levels higher too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Neil Kabuto
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
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Today is Neil Young's 70th birthday

This literally just happened.

Context: I'm 30yrs old. Got my own place. My dad and his business partner are staying with me for a meeting they have in the morning. Dad's friend is browsing the news on his laptop. He casually says Neil Young's birthday is today. He's 70 years old.

My dad goes "I guess he's Neil Old now"

Is it a sign of getting old when I find his dad jokes hilarious?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TonzB
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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Neil deGrasse Tyson strikes again twitter.com/neiltyson/sta…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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Neil Young
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bazmox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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My dad's go-to joke: "Why didn't Neil Armstrong's wife go with him to the moon?"

The joke usually starts like this:

"hey..."

"yeah?"

"so uh... you know who neil armstrong is?(was)"

"......yeah?"

"....who was he?"

"uh... wasn't he the first man on the moon?"

"yep. Did you know he didn't take his wife with him when he went to the moon?"

"Um... I guess?"

"Do you know why?"

"....no...?"

"Because he ASKED HER NOT!!"

(astronaut) :|

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveLinger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2013
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Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted a Dad joke!

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/statuses/429325051679084544

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xpensivewino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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Neil deGrasse Tyson gets out-dadjoked by his daughter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhass24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Sonjoke: My dad's name is Neil. Whenever there's a call for him....

"Hello?" "Neil?" "Make me!" (silence...confusion...explanation of the joke...)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiteyonthemoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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When I went to Karaoke Night, I was asked, "You the guy who only sings Neil Diamond songs?"

"I am," I said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal...

...until the pressure got to him...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
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πŸ‘€︎ u/opethlike
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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