Country
-Credit to a student in my US History class
Be the change that we wanna see.
But cheese and cake sound like an awful combo so I declare this my first cakeday instead
And he won! I read it in the French press
I asked someone to explain it to me and they didn’t make cents.
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
I told them that it was ok, we brought our own.
Dome Dome Dome DOME, Dome Dome Dome DOME...
But I'm out of my element.
I told him "country music"
It's on paper view.
It really crêped up on us this year didn't it!
That idea was immediately shot down
She asked, "is this the highest point in Thailand?"
I replied, "i don't know, it's up there".
The glances exchanged in that moment were some of my fondest memories of that trip.
2/22.
TOO! TO-TOOO!
Get it?
Are you all coming?
But it only works one weekend out of the month.
They say it’s a corona lite virus now.
Talibanana
Runs 'til Sunday.
He loves being in the limelight.
Or really, it should have been.
You should really try to get off that day if you can.
I really can't speak highly enough of it!
I think I'll have some cake!
The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.
I said it is big enough to take care of itself.
Now there's an Iron Curtain that I can't tear down!
So they gave me a posh trophy.
The Aluminumati.
Speaker: “I'm glad you could all make it”
Whole crowd: in unison “Hi glad you could all make it, We're dad”
Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"
entire conference loses their shit
I can see now I set the bar too low for myself.
It was a document-tree.
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
Neil.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSf00ewCiko&feature=youtu.be&t=180
Includes all the important aspects of a good dad joke:
- Innocent setup by unsuspecting teammate
- Perfect delivery of terrible dad joke
- High five from another shameless dad nearby
- Look of severe disapproval from contest judge who can't believe you just did that in front of your entire country
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
They have asked for help from the Department of Ho Ho Homeland security.
I'm starting to lose Hope. I haven't felt Solo for a long time
I told him "oh you know... horns... hooves..."
"Tree-va la Résistance!"
It was one of my prouder parenting moments.
But I just couldn't Finnish.
I'm going to wait until Tuesday of next month to celebrate.
I replied, “I don’t think we can do that.”
My son asked, “Why not?”
“Because it’s paper view...”
Their leader said, "like we need YOUR support."
obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?
but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle
I have to say, though: I'm disappointed they didn't go with General Mills.
It was a pop quiz
Thanksgiving
I guess I overlooked it.
My unit had a drill weekend and we were in the woods with only open toilets (no walls or stalls, just three toilet seats next to either.) After the second day one of the officers asked, "Is there a private shiter around here?" I responded with, "I haven't seen him but I'll look for him."
Foodlandia is a country where every city is named after a food and every city has a guild to represent it in competitions and such.
It was the finals of the national city vs. city trivia quiz and the two remaining contestants were guilds from Curry City and Pasta City.
The final question was "Which is the most popular pet in Foodlandia?". Each city's guild put their answer in a sealed envelope and they were stored for the next days big reveal.
On the next morning the officials went to retrieve the envelopes and they found a horrific sight, a dead spy from Pasta City and in his hand an opened envelope with a paper inside that read "Curry City Guild: The Cat".
...it was the worst dada breach in its history.
My dad: "I wonder what it is about water that makes people so dishonest?"
I'm dreading it
My wife : wanna go to the mexican returaunt tonight?
Me : Sorry, I mexican't.
Update: We went anyway. So I guess I mexicould...
a walk in the park.
We were sightseeing at Yellowstone and we asked a ranger for some recommendations on where to go.
"There's this really cool tall cliff called Poison Cliff nearby. You wanna know why it was given that name?"
...."because one drop will kill ya!"
The highlight of our time at Yellowstone.
He's called a few times as well. It's getting out of control.
Sounds like a holiday I can really sink my teeth into. 😎
Country
Country
Speaker: I'm glad you could all make it
Whole crowd: in unison hi glad you could all make it We're dad
Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"
entire conference loses their shit
It really crepéd up on us this year!
2/22!
TOOOOO!
TOO-TOOOOO!!
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds...
It's ill eagle
Runs till Sunday!
