Name tag Puns

So they knew which witch was which.

The name tag read:

Store Name

Sabrina

In training

I said "You've been Sabrina your whole life. You shouldn't need to be training for that."

My dad leans over to to me and says "I think our checker is a little cheesy"

she said it's because it was always jammin’.

I looked in the fridge to start helping my mom bake pies for family dinner.

Me: "Dad, when did you start drinking alcoholic root beer?"

Dad: "It's not mine."

Mom: "He got that for you, because it's not your father's root beer."

Dad: "The Dad's root beer is mine though, so don't touch it."

After picking up my son from his friends I see that he came home with two new stuffed animals. I asked him how it happened and what the names of the new animals where.

"He wanted to trade for two of mine and he has these two whales I wanted."

"Do they have a name ?" I asked." And did anyone get hurt?"

" Nobody got hurt and they each have a tag on them and they just say Stuffing the Whale so I guess that is their name." He says as he makes whale noises from the back of the car.

"That seems like a great time. You got two whale the stuffing from your friend and nobody got hurt."

I'm working on a silly project for my job, and I'm trying to come up with punny fake names for the name tags. I work at a community bank - anything finance and banking product or industry related is good, I am god awful at puns and so far I've only got these:

Ann U. Ities Dee Posit Owen A. Lott

Punmasters and fans, lend me your talents? :)

27, single, childless With a group of friends about to ride a rollercoaster. I notice that the ride attendants name tag says "DeJa"... and I can feel the dad within me take over.

The ride was fun, we were in the first row... DeJa cheerily welcomes us back into the station, and I, without control of myself, exclaim "OMG it's DeJa, again!" Pause 1 second Entire cart groans in unison.

She convincingly said she had "never heard that one before", but it might have just been expert-level sarcasm.

Just got home from a trip to McDonalds with my dad. The till worker's name tag was ivonna.

My dad catches on quickly with a big grin oh his face.

"Ivonna bacon swiss melt". ..........

Really?

A customer was interested in a jacket that was on clearance. It was missing its tag, and was the last of its kind. My coworker did some digging and found the model name. A while later, I asked him about the jacket

Me: So this jacket is called the Countdown?

Coworker: Yeah

Me: And this is the last one?

Coworker: Yeah

Me: Oh, so this is the Final Countdown!

My coworker groaned loudly and slapped his face with the palm of his hand.

My dad and I were looking for perfume or lotion for my sister. A woman comes up to ask us for help and she does help us. When she is checking us out in line, my dad finally says to her "You know, in all my years I've never met a girl with the name Vendor before."

It said vendor on her name tag instead of her name.

I was sitting in his seat talking to my mother/grandparents for a bit when an idea hit me. So after some brief set up, I went searching for dad.

Me: I really like the small touches they added, like the personalised messages on the table placements

Dad: What?

Me: You know, the name tag to show where people are sitting

Dad: Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but there's no message on them.

Me: Yes there is! It's on the inside of them, just have to flip them over to read it

Dad: I'm telling you, there's no message on them!

Me: I absolutely guarantee that there is a personalised message written on your name tag!!

So, determined to prove me wrong we go inside to his table and he flips over his name tag to find, in my handwriting, "told you so".

If I were a salesman, I would name my car a simple name: Dable. Why you might ask?

'Cause if I want to sell it, I'll have this tag line ready:

"It is a Ford Dable! (affordable)"

I looked at her name tag, and it says, "Sage." I said, "Hi Sage, I'm Suffistication; do you happen to have the thyme?" It took her and my other co-worker a minute to get it, and then they just shook their heads.

I think they liked it.