I once met a guy who kept a journal of his favorite snack mixes
He called it his <checks notes> Chex Notes
What kind of dog likes iced tea mixes with lemonade?
An evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
What do you get when you mix birth control with LSD?
What do you get when you mix human DNA with whale DNA?
Thrown out of the aquarium
What do you get when you mix sodium and nitrogen?
Idk, but that's definetly not a number
What do you call a mix between a dog and a daisy?
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” mixed up.
now i’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia
I tell dad jokes mixed with dirty jokes.
I call them "Daddy jokes"
What do you get when you mix a car, a fly, and a pet?
Did you hear that the inventor of autocorrect died?
The funnel will be held tomato.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
When mixing chemicals always stir them with your finger:
I just mixed some holy water with laxatives
HOLY SHIT!
I just had a religious movement...
What do you get when you mix a group of fish with a group of lions?
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
In chemistry, my professor told me that mixing oxygen and potassium was dangerous.
I thought it was just OK.
Did you hear the one about the printer that got its cartridges mixed up?
It's a bit of an off-color joke.
What do you get when you mix bread, ginger and a Jamaican?
What do you get when you mix a monkey with some egg white?
[META] Dad joke request: Creative response to, “Dad, I’m hungry.”
I’ve been using this classic for a long time. It will never get old, but I want to mix it up a bit. Give me something other than, “Hi hungry. I’m Dad.”
An employee at the cookie factory fell into the dough mixing vat.
It looks like he's going to make it, but he was badly battered.
Once I almost choked on Bombay mix…
I never let my Mumbai it again!
Do you know why pepper does not like to be mixed with salt?
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?
I mixed up my breath spray with my body spray.
Now I speak with a funny Axe scent.
I’m against mixing races
Formula 1 cars just couldn’t compete with Indy cars.
What would you get if you mix one molecule of barium and two molecules of sodium?
i always mix up sprites, fairies, elves and orcs.
I get confused with the gnomenclature.
Why should you never mix bourbon with scrambled eggs?
Some guy was arrested for intentionally misprogramming an elevator's buttons.
It was wrong on so many levels.
6yo asks my wife: Why do you always mix our names?
Wife: Because I love you all
6yo: So, why dad is not doing the same?
Me (passing by): Now, at least, you know
If a group of cats made a music album, what would it be called?
My favorite exercise is a mix between lunges and crunches
Booze and calculus don’t mix
Posted this pun by u/MorganAubrey to my WhatsApp status and the response from my contacts was phenomenal! It's a mix of languages but hopefully, ya'll get it. Its a mix of English, Swahili and Gujrati.
imgur.com/gallery/qRpUKw7
I met my would be wife in the middle of a flight when there was a ticket mix up that seated me next to her instead of with my friends.
It ended up being a blessing in da skies.
What do you get when you mix an agnostic, an insomniac and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there is a dog.
I decided to mix laxatives with my alphabet soup
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
My girlfriend was doing a Spanish lesson on her phone and said she keeps getting mixed up between bien and bueno
I told her it's all well and good
I found a great bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing it.
What do you get when you mix ,a fly ,a car and a pet
What do you get when you mix a car, a pet and a fly?
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