Jim Carrey is combining the movies where he plays God and a pet detective

Alrighty Almighty

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseBeSerious
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife's an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes...

She made a right hash of it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A French guy started a charitable foundation that symbolizes the coexistence between faiths; combining "Red Cross" and "Red Crescent". What did he call it?

Red Croissant

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was told a story about combining two pieces of metal.

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get after combining an Owl with a Bee?

A Bowl.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Avanou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My son dressed up as Satan and started combining oxygen, nitrogen, argon, carbon dioxide and methane.

He's got a real Devil-make-air attitude.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
In chemistry class, my son was combining acetic acid with some sort of base when he disappeared...

I guess it's true what they say -- he who acetates is lost.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new math book regarding combining infinities?

It's a new addition.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/britamordio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the act of combining two negative things?

Confusion

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chewygum93
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The U.S. and Canada are combining their space programs to send another spacecraft to the moon

Their calling the ship The Apollo-G!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ggaarrrreett
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?

A slowpoke!

*a friend of mine told me this and I thought it would fit well here

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wqiu_f1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a 4 leaf clover, with poison ivy?

A rash of good luck.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andyb2383
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...

I call it LETTER RIP

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A man fell into a combine harvester while attempting to steal it.

Police say he will be bailed out tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My mate had a combined Burns Night and Chinese New Year party he called Chinese Burns Night

I wasn't going to go, but he twisted my arm

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/localgasgiant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I have designed a way to combine cell phone and moving stair technologies. Want to know what it’s called?

Tellulater.

I had to pull of the road to post this cause I’ve been laughing at myself for the last 5 miles.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood?

A spaghetto.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorOfGaming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine and vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/apathy714
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a combination of a Frozen Yogurt shop and a news stand.

It will be called FroYo Information.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a deer, an ant, and a pond?

Stagnant water.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Please dont call us grammar nazis

We prefer the term "alt-write"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine Wonder Woman with a Transformer?

Amazon Prime

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fullmiz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!

She lost 120 lbs.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coco46448
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Winnie the Poop (not a traditional dad joke)

This is not a traditional /r/dadjokes with a delivery and a punchline.

I just wanted all dad's, with kids around 2-6, to know that changing the name of Winnie the Pooh to Winnie the Poop will generate maniacal laughter from your kids. Especially if you combine it with singing the theme song from the movie.

As an added bonus, there is no statute of limitations on when you add the extra P. You can say: Winnie the Poop Winnie the Pooh...P Or Winnie the Pooh...... ...... .... P And your kids will laugh just as hard.

I've gone a full minute without saying the last P, while my kids hang on my every facial movement.

Enjoy

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elChardo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a grocery store and a clothing store?

Apple Crumble and Finch

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkrose3333
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you combine t.j j.j and derek watt

A megawatt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrwamster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I combined weed with yeast.

The Pot Thickens..

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peanut_Butt3r675
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.

It was as big as the last two combined!

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine an awful hair style and a singer?

A Perry Comover

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The pennie joke

No offense is intended with this joke. It was a joke that a Catholic priest once said, and I found it quite funny.

A $100 bill went to heaven and was heading towards the gate when St. Peter stopped him. The bill said "What's the matter?". And St. Pete said, "You can't go in". And the bill replied, "Why not? I've done nothing wrong. I was given to charity for the poor and I've been with the richest people on Earth". Right then, a $20 bill was passing by, and St. Peter stopped him as well. "What does this mean? I've been good with everyone and I've been given to the poor more times than the $100 bill". But St. Pete had none of it. Right then, a $1 bill was passing by and it too was stopped. "I've been given to the poor more times than any of these combined! This is outrageous!". And right then, an old, dirty and rusty pennie was passing through the gates, jumping with joy. He stopped for a moment and smiled at St. Pete. And St. Pete smiled back, as the pennie leaped into heaven. All the other bills were confused and enraged. And when they asked St. Pete why that filthy little coin was let in, and not them, St. Peter responded: "He was the only one to go to mass".

I hope you have a nice day!

P.S: No offense is intended with this joke. It was a joke that a Catholic priest once said, and I found it quite funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshy2004194II
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but’s it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined
πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nh-278
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.

Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
If you ever get locked out of the house, talk to the lock calmly

Communication is key

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/havenotredditt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?

Attract her.

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/digiBeLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealLameUserName
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the worst combination of two sicknesses?
  • Diarrhea and Alzheimer. You’re running, but you don’t know where.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuitenantElo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the worst combination of two diseases?

Alzheimer's and Diarrhoea . You're running but you don't know where .

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I COULD tell you a top secret combination of words which result in the instant death of anyone hearing or reading them..

But then I'd have to kill you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep being awakened by dreams of Indian dishes that use a complex combination of spices or herbs, usually including ground turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, and fresh or dried chilies...

It's a re-curry-ing nightmare.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How about this combination?
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/travischapmanart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Broadway has a new show that combines magic with the tunes of a 70’s Swedish Pop Band

It’s called ABBA-Cadabra.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Every piece is as delicious as the previous two combined.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a new rap artist who combines a modern hip hop sound with 80s retro pop.

Waka Flocka Seagulls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jDubbaYo
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Karen did that actually happen
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Never combine a cat with an apostrophe.

It’ll be a catastrophe.

πŸ‘︎ 197
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.

I call it Letter Rip.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.

I call it "Letter Rip."

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sesh458
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
πŸ‘︎ 205
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grosstraktor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
This Fibonacci joke is worse than the last two you heard combined.
πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drCrankoPhone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.