I toured the USS Missouri todayβ¦
In the ship I saw the Master at Armsβ office and weapon storage was right near the shipβs bakery. It struck me as odd, until I realized that the Navy followed the same principles as the Army having the US gold in Fort Knox, surrounded by an armored force.
You have to be able to guard the dough.
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︎ May 15 2021
If a man and woman in Missouri get divorced..
Are they still brother and sister?
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?
Because Missouri loves company!
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︎ Apr 25 2021
I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Canvas city Missouri or Canvas City Canvas
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︎ Feb 10 2020
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
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︎ Dec 07 2017
Did you hear about the nudist who never left Missouri?
He was always in his show me state.
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︎ Jan 15 2020
Honestly, Missouri has to be in my top 50 most favorite states in the US
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︎ Sep 25 2018
If Mississippi is going to wear her New Jersey, what will Missouri wear?
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︎ Mar 02 2019
Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes
A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.
Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didnβt sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymakerβs parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.
SOURCE
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︎ Nov 04 2018
Someone in the MO State Senate should introduce business-friendly legislation and call it the "Missouri Loves Companies" Bill.
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︎ Jan 18 2018
We all feel like this sometimes
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I was driving from Illinois to Oklahoma but I got lost.
I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Q: Which US State loves company?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Did you hear about the depressive state of US?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
I just turned 18 so now I shouldnβt need my glasses anymore
Iβm still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
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︎ Jun 25 2019
At which US state did the great depression start?
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︎ Nov 08 2020
One nation, indivisible....
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︎ Apr 02 2017
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
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︎ Jul 26 2017
Why are people is St. Louis so hospitable?
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said βKnown to cause cancer in the state of California.β
Good thing Iβm using it in Missouri.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...
Because Missouri loves company.
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︎ May 26 2020
What did Tennessee?
The same thing that Arkansas
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︎ Mar 08 2016
F
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︎ Oct 16 2018
My neighbor moved away after her husband died. Poor woman...
...the last few years of her life will be spent in Missouri.
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︎ Sep 25 2018
What's the most Canadian state?
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︎ Dec 10 2019
Two potatoes are standing on the street.
How do you know which one is the prostitute?
The one that has a stick on it and says Idaho.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
My friend's doctor told him that his depression is coming from the state he's been in recently.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
What is Maroon 5's favorite state?
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︎ Dec 19 2019
Are you a depressed American?
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︎ Feb 26 2019
The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.
Because Missouri loves Company.
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︎ May 19 2019
If a depressed man moved to the Midwest,
He'd likely be living in Missouri.
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︎ Sep 11 2018
I canβt believe the entirety of Jefferson City had to go see a therapist.
Itβs sad, everyone is in a constant state of Missouri.
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︎ May 24 2019
Why are Kansas and Iowa always so bummed out?
Because Missouri loves company!
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︎ Apr 12 2019
Random terrible puns I came up with using (some of) the 50 States
- Alaska girl out when the times right
- Arkansas right? (Ar Can Saw right?)
- Iβll California
- Heβs gonna Florida car!
- Iowa lot of money right now
- He was in a state of Missouri for the past few days
- Heβs the Maine character of the book
- Mind Washington dishes tonight?
- Can I get a Minnesota with my burger?
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︎ Oct 16 2017
Dad joked my own dad. I don't think he's ever been more proud.
(Parents are moving from Missouri to Texas)
Dad: Your mom and I made it down here without a hitch! We're pretty wiped out, so we'll probably unpack the trailer in the morning.
Me: How'd you tow the trailer all the way down there without a hitch?!?!
Dad: Well played..
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︎ May 14 2015
I've been very upset lately, had to move to St Louis..
..and ever since then I've been living my life in Missouri.
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︎ May 20 2017
My friends hate living at their homes in the mid-west
They want to be put out of their Missouri.
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︎ Oct 03 2016
Dadjoked by my entomology professor today
In class he was talking about the importance of hands-on, empirical research and says "I was reading your bios and realized you all are from Missouri". Everyone looked around because no one in the class was from Mizzou. He then developed a shit-eating grin and yelled "The show-me state! Missouri is the show-me state!"...ughhh
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︎ Feb 17 2015
Caller ID
phone starts ringing, says its a telemarketer from "MO"
me: Dad, MO is Montana, right?
Dad: No, its Missouri.
Me: Why MO? Nobody notices the "O" in Missouri.
Dad: There's a lot of other states that start with an "M".
Me: What about MR? What does that one stand for?
...then my dad looks at me and smiles and says "Mister"... I rolled my eyes and went back to my room.
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︎ Jul 13 2015
It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Why does Missouri have the most surrounding states?
Because Missouri loves company :)
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︎ Oct 17 2013
While driving from Oklahoma to Illinois, I got lost on the way.
I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
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︎ Jun 03 2020
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I brought home for the weekend asks what's wrong.
Lol, jk I'm a redditor, I've never brought a girl home, and that is why I'm the one in a state of Missouri.
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︎ Jul 27 2017
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