I toured the USS Missouri today…

In the ship I saw the Master at Arms’ office and weapon storage was right near the ship’s bakery. It struck me as odd, until I realized that the Navy followed the same principles as the Army having the US gold in Fort Knox, surrounded by an armored force.

You have to be able to guard the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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If a man and woman in Missouri get divorced..

Are they still brother and sister?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Why does Missouri like being surrounded by other states?

Because Missouri loves company!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.

Ooops, wrong bus!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Canvas city Missouri or Canvas City Canvas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coccolombo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemanandnewman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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Did you hear about the nudist who never left Missouri?

He was always in his show me state.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/about831
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Honestly, Missouri has to be in my top 50 most favorite states in the US
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingersnap5322
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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If Mississippi is going to wear her New Jersey, what will Missouri wear?

Idaho Alaska!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dougyancy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Someone in the MO State Senate should introduce business-friendly legislation and call it the "Missouri Loves Companies" Bill.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frostmage82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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We all feel like this sometimes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Eegee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I was driving from Illinois to Oklahoma but I got lost.

I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Q: Which US State loves company?

A: Missouri

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Did you hear about the depressive state of US?

It's a Missouri

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iruny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore

I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDFighterwing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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At which US state did the great depression start?

Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/severelampwatcher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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One nation, indivisible....
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananacatguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are people is St. Louis so hospitable?

Missouri loves company!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dconman2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought some engine cleaner. The label said β€˜Known to cause cancer in the state of California.’

Good thing I’m using it in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sethrymir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was shocked to see the Memorial Day pool party videos from the south, but I can't really say I blame them...

Because Missouri loves company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiky3420
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing that Arkansas

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisfactor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2016
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F
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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My neighbor moved away after her husband died. Poor woman...

...the last few years of her life will be spent in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrneda02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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What's the most Canadian state?

Me-sorry.

(Missouri).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blitzkrieger23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Two potatoes are standing on the street.

How do you know which one is the prostitute? The one that has a stick on it and says Idaho.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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My friend's doctor told him that his depression is coming from the state he's been in recently.

He's been in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godlike6700
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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What is Maroon 5's favorite state?

Missouri

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdonut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you a depressed American?

You must be in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/STANDARD_POTATO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.

Because Missouri loves Company.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If a depressed man moved to the Midwest,

He'd likely be living in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greengaming110
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe the entirety of Jefferson City had to go see a therapist.

It’s sad, everyone is in a constant state of Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WumboActivate
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Kansas and Iowa always so bummed out?

Because Missouri loves company!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eatsomerubber167
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Random terrible puns I came up with using (some of) the 50 States
  • Alaska girl out when the times right
  • Arkansas right? (Ar Can Saw right?)
  • I’ll California
  • He’s gonna Florida car!
  • Iowa lot of money right now
  • He was in a state of Missouri for the past few days
  • He’s the Maine character of the book
  • Mind Washington dishes tonight?
  • Can I get a Minnesota with my burger?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodofWar1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my own dad. I don't think he's ever been more proud.

(Parents are moving from Missouri to Texas)

Dad: Your mom and I made it down here without a hitch! We're pretty wiped out, so we'll probably unpack the trailer in the morning.

Me: How'd you tow the trailer all the way down there without a hitch?!?!

Dad: Well played..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaddeusMuscles
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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I've been very upset lately, had to move to St Louis..

..and ever since then I've been living my life in Missouri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/memethetics
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
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My friends hate living at their homes in the mid-west

They want to be put out of their Missouri.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IgnisGlacies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked by my entomology professor today

In class he was talking about the importance of hands-on, empirical research and says "I was reading your bios and realized you all are from Missouri". Everyone looked around because no one in the class was from Mizzou. He then developed a shit-eating grin and yelled "The show-me state! Missouri is the show-me state!"...ughhh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_bearss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Caller ID

phone starts ringing, says its a telemarketer from "MO"

me: Dad, MO is Montana, right?

Dad: No, its Missouri.

Me: Why MO? Nobody notices the "O" in Missouri.

Dad: There's a lot of other states that start with an "M".

Me: What about MR? What does that one stand for?

...then my dad looks at me and smiles and says "Mister"... I rolled my eyes and went back to my room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnbornValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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It shares border with more states than any other. Missouri loves company.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Why does Missouri have the most surrounding states?

Because Missouri loves company :)

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TexasSheetCake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
🚨︎ report
While driving from Oklahoma to Illinois, I got lost on the way.

I've been in a state of Missouri ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I brought home for the weekend asks what's wrong.

Lol, jk I'm a redditor, I've never brought a girl home, and that is why I'm the one in a state of Missouri.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report

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