Matt Puns

I met a stranger o‌‌n t‌‌he t‌‌ube t‌‌he o‌‌ther d‌‌ay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he s‌‌aid, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy t‌‌apped o‌‌n m‌‌y bedroom w‌‌indow, a‌‌t 1‌‌1.30 pm last n‌‌ight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

A doormatt.

Daredevil dared evil!

He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

Jake says, “No, just a regular suit.”

I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.

Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.

Art: At least they don't leave you hanging.

Goodwill Hunting.

Bob

Edited because I used the darker version by mistake

He wishes he’d never been Bourne.

People are always walking all over Matt's.

"I usually go by either." "Okay Either, nice to meet you!"

Mattadores bullfighting.

because he will always be stuck in second gear!

He was Goodwill hunting.

He wasn't really aMUSEd, though

One down, no Sweat.

must really feel like they dodged a bullet right now

During the goodbyes my Dad said "We'll make sure to put out a welcome... Matt next time you come down".

After a few seconds to unravel the monstrosity that had just left my Dad's mouth, we groaned and walked away.

He wishes he was never Bourne.