Years ago, I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was involved in very organized crime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
There’s a rat in the Italian mafia

An impasta

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExExtrovert
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call formal wear made for satisfied mafia cats?

Criminal purr-suits

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SophieJiffy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
How are mafia murders like candles?

They're both wax.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zotiko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Canadian folk singer who had a run in with the Mafia?

They threw him into a river wearing concrete shoes, now they call him Gordon Heavyfoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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What's the difference between the government and the mafia?

The mafia can turn a profit!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the protagonist of a dog mafia movie?

James Caanine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pvtsoab
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss

He always catches the snitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3174N
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What's a small, carnivorous mammal's favorite mafia game?

A mongoose :)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epickitty_101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The Mafia killed a man in a rice field because of a dispute over a small trinket

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Who was the most notorious gangster in the cheese mafia?

Al Caprovolone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prez9669
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a butler in the mafia?

A maid man.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flccncnhlplfctn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guinea pig that has joined a mafia group?

A hamster

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ngeelow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new restaurant the Mafia just opened up?

Foot traffic for indoor dining is a little slow, but they do a great TAKEOUT business

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MynameisMatlock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crustacean involved with the mafia?

A mobster.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Santoryuuuuu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A mafia boss hired a hitman to take down a few pines in his front yard

The hitman asked: 'what do you want me to do after the job is done?' The mafia boss replied: 'I want you to go bury tree bodies.'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get the mafia out of pro sports?

You request a sit-down.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What does working for the mafia and oral sex have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/24_7meatslinger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the mafia do when cows know too much?

They ice cream 🍦🍦🍦

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A local restaurant launders money for the mafia

They refused to sere me beef today. The waiter said something about a stakeout

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in the mafia I was working as a welder on the side, one day I accidentally welded two crucifixes together.

My boss is going to be so mad when he finds out about this double-cross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Jesus was with the Italian Mafia?

It’s true! His dad was the Godfather.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iusedtobeaplayer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Mafia guys always have the cleanest cars?

From all the whacks

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Did you hear about the Toronto Mafia Boss known for telling bad jokes?

The call him The Stand Up Canadian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiLifino
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cheese mafia?

They call themselves "The Mascarpone Family".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Butt_Plug_Bonanza
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the mafia go into the pizza business

They wanted to make some dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/governingLody
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mafia of killer whales?

Orcanized crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISpamUpvotes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just started knitting for the Mafia

They call me Scarf Ace

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
My time in the mafia served me well

I got so good with scarves, they started calling me scarf ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Mafia Boss: I want this guy hurt. I want the brake lines of his car to be rusting.

Scientist: Got it.

Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the Welsh Mafia stopped so easily?

As soon as they were put into a lineup, everyone sang.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the Italian mafia carry out a suicide bombing?

They rig a Tony...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brickbaterang
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
(X post) The mafia visited the local pizzeria for extortion money.

They wanted their piece of the pie.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The mafia is forcing me to recycle

They made me an offer I can refuse

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What would happen if an oyster witnessed a mafia killing?

He would clam up.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Heard about the undercover cop in the Italian Mafia?

He was an impasta

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianthamist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to sell filing cabinets to the mafia....

Back then I was involved in very organised crime!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greyspartacus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy sells office supplies, label makers, and file cabinets to the Mafia.

He is involved in very organized crime.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to supply Filofaxes to the Mafia

I was involved in very organized crime.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockstorm8232
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to supply Filofaxes to the mafia

I was into very organised crime.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/biggrumpybadger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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