Locking Puns

A list of puns related to "Locking"

My friend tried to delay the inevitable by locking himself in a public bathroom...

He stalled for time.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...

I felt your presents!

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👤︎ u/CoddiwomplingRandall
📅︎ Dec 24 2020
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So the police locked up a toddler the other day

Turns out he was resisting a rest

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👤︎ u/bowlingForRamen
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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Which pasta gets locked out of the house? —Technically a wife joke.

Gnocchi.

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👤︎ u/hoffa22
📅︎ Dec 20 2020
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Lego made the lock lego
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👤︎ u/indisgice
📅︎ Nov 17 2020
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Locked myself out of the house today...

Thankfully, l was able to open the door, by talking to it...

Communication is key.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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Title
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👤︎ u/pegman55
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.

Communication is key...

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👤︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
📅︎ Sep 27 2020
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What do you call a prostitute who locks her customers in the basement!?

A Whoarder!

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👤︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
📅︎ Dec 03 2020
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My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes

I texted "Oh Pun the Door"

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👤︎ u/batmans_apprentice
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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My wife locked me out for telling too many corny, obnoxious word play jokes...

Now I’m outside banging and hollering ‘Oh PUN the door!!!’ ‘Oh PUN the door!!!’

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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Knowing how to pick locks...

Has really opened a lot of doors for me.

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ Oct 26 2020
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He has got a point
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👤︎ u/7keletor
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.

I said okay... Bi den.

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👤︎ u/nikhillala7
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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My girlfriend and I just had a fight. She has locked herself in the bathroom for an hour and still hasn't left.

I am tired of her shit.

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👤︎ u/AnotherKakkar
📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

They are key workers

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👤︎ u/CarBoobSale
📅︎ Oct 19 2020
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I got locked in a room with a deck of cards.

I was in solitaire confinement.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Sep 10 2020
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A pun for current times
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👤︎ u/just_boy57
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.

I thought it was a safe bet.

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👤︎ u/schutwo
📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside

Imagine, all the people...

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👤︎ u/vbloke
📅︎ Jul 13 2020
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My Italian friend always locks himself out of the house...

He has gnocchi

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👤︎ u/Vasapalooza
📅︎ Jul 24 2020
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Why don't Elephants ever get locked out?

They can't forget where they left their keys.

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👤︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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I've been stuck in lock down so long I've started writing myself letters

Dear, me.

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👤︎ u/TheFr1nk
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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I locked my door on the way in, but when I looked back, it was slightly ajar
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👤︎ u/Diascamara
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. /r/Jokes/comments/hrlc58/…
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👤︎ u/TheLegendOfTrain
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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Dwayne "the Lock" Johnson
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👤︎ u/peepeebigg
📅︎ May 31 2020
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Saints Locke room

I walk into the saints locker room with a canister They ask “what is it” I say “For Brees” (Awful I know)

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👤︎ u/Sendmetitpics69
📅︎ Jun 09 2020
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I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
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👤︎ u/Neversaynever12345
📅︎ Apr 25 2020
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Credits to u/plat_playya
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👤︎ u/sixDwaffle
📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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Rested and arrested.
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👤︎ u/RajuNeupane
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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Finland has locked itself with quarantine.

No one will be crossing the Finish line.

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👤︎ u/johnreese421
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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Caption America
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👤︎ u/subbu9969
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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I got locked out of the Euphemism Society this afternoon.

So I smashed their back door in.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 20 2020
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The Energizer Bunny was arrested...

...charged with battery

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👤︎ u/blur410
📅︎ Nov 13 2020
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I used to be in a band called "The Hinges"

We opened for The Doors

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ May 21 2020
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Take A Lock At This Will Ya!
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👤︎ u/CookieDough-234
📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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A man is walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

Bump…

Bump…

Bump…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.

Faster…

Faster…

FASTER…

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!

And…

The coffin stops….

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👤︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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Petition to lock this sub once a week

Because there's no post on Sunday

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/Dombledog
📅︎ Oct 01 2018
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A couple of years ago I learned how to lock pick and it's opened up so many doors for me.
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👤︎ u/JaredLiwet
📅︎ Feb 14 2020
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Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?

I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.

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👤︎ u/habsfan1112
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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If you ever get locked out of the house, just talk to the lock.

Communication is key.

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👤︎ u/Tinnber
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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What should you do if you get locked out of the house?

Talk to the lock, because communication is key

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👤︎ u/_ivy_ally
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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What should you do if you get locked out of your house?

Be calm and talk to the lock.

Because communication is key!

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👤︎ u/Vanguard_The
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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If you ever get locked out your house, talk to your lock calmly

Because communication is key.

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👤︎ u/Bigchungaswholsome
📅︎ Sep 21 2020
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If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly

Because communication is key

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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If you ever lock yourself out of your house, just talk to the lock calmly.

Because communication is key.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/DGNOLA12
📅︎ Jan 18 2020
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I needed to get my locks changed, but all the local locksmiths were closed...

I thought they were key workers?

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👤︎ u/Neversaynever12345
📅︎ Apr 25 2020
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If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to you lock calmly because

Communication is key

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👤︎ u/OMEN786
📅︎ Nov 27 2019
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If your ever get locked outside of your house just talk to your door lock.

Because communication is key.

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👤︎ u/youessbee
📅︎ Nov 23 2019
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