Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?

Its pasteurized before you see it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BuckyClassicTho
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2020
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Just found this store by chance called Ollieโ€™s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here. reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KORZILLA-is-me
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 29 2020
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My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 11 2020
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I drank out all the liquid out of my slushy

Now it is dry ice

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Solya75
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 07 2020
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My wife keeps asking why I drink a pink liquid whenever my stomach is upset.

Frankly, it's not her bismuth.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 05 2020
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Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Timmy12er
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16 2020
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When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 03 2020
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Did you know that cats are liquid?

Of course, you measure them in litters

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 28
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/alexepul
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 02 2020
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The decision for a liquid to fill the shape of whatever container they are in is...

InVOLUMEtary

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Minzato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 08 2020
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A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.

So, I handed him a glass of water.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gr8prajwalb
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 19 2020
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Every time I wash the dishes at night after dinner, I use a whole bottle of dishwashing liquid.

Another day, another Dawn.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 23 2020
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A Car.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/howiewu0402
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 06 2020
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A moment of silence for our dear friend, liquid water, who did not survive the 100ยฐ temperature...

You will be mist.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/--Giraffe--
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31 2018
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I donโ€™t like liquid desserts, but I donโ€™t know why

Something about them is just off-pudding

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TheNightmanCometh10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17 2020
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Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 20 2020
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My friend tried to get me to join his MLM scheme of selling devices for establishing a horizontal line by means of a bubble in a liquid that shows adjustment to the horizontal by movement to the center of a glass tube...

It'd make cents off so many levels.

/edit:rephrased punchline

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 29 2020
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Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.

Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Yoohao
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 08 2020
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Are you draining the liquid out of your yogurt?

No whey!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/agoodleaf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 21 2020
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An Irishman finds a genie

All offenses aside, Iโ€™m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genieโ€™s lamp and says to himself โ€œooh laddy what have we found here? I tink Iโ€™ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!โ€

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genieโ€™s form becomes solid. It speaks, โ€œOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.โ€

The Irishmanโ€™s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts โ€œtree wishes?! Thatโ€™s just brilliant!โ€ For me first wish, Iโ€™ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.โ€

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. โ€œWell I tink weโ€™ll have to put this to the test!โ€ He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, โ€œAhhhhhhhh!!!โ€ And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping โ€œbulp!โ€, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. โ€œWELL Iโ€™LL BE! THATโ€™S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!โ€

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman โ€œMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?โ€

The Irishman looks to the genie and says โ€œoh tatโ€™s easy! Iโ€™ll have two more of these!โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bbacconnn
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 21 2020
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I've started to work on a theory on what liquids become when you cool them

My colleagues say it lacks evidence, but I think it's solid.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Codentaco
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 09 2019
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My Asian friend owns a business where he twists and binds white t-shirts then soaks them in colored liquid...

I even have one of her Thai dye t-shirts.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 05 2020
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I made the mistake of drinking the liquid from a scientistโ€™s test tube.

It was a vial substance.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 57
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 30 2019
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Sink was clogged so I bought off-brand Liquid Plumber. Boy was that money down the drain.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AtLeastThreeCharacte
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2019
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It was hard for scientists to create a liquid for contacts

But they came up with a solution

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/4ork_Reddit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01 2019
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A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states

Solid, liquid and gas

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 44
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/emu404
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14 2020
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Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Suss-it-out
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21 2019
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Do you know what causes dry skin?

Towels

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thewonkabro
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 08 2019
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My friend told me about a new type of yogurt that doesn't have liquid on the top when you open it...

I was like, "No whey!"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 54
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/haymalb
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 24 2018
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If youโ€™re switching from liquid to bar soap, be careful...

Itโ€™s a slippery soap.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/runningwaterss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 19 2019
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I dreamed about drowning in an orange liquid last night...

Turns out it was just a Fanta sea

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ArchieThePinkSloth
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 25 2019
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I soda not see that comming
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MrwaffleMssyrup
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 12 2019
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My friendโ€™s fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation.

He now sells smoothies.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 11 2019
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Whatโ€™s the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk, itโ€™s pasteurized before you can even see it!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 217
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TongueBandit69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 04 2020
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Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VVIIVVI
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 10 2020
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My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill

So I sent him a "get well soon" card

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RedCakesYT
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 07 2020
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What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Flameboy42
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 25 2019
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What's the fastest liquid on Earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 418
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bot_10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20 2019
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Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 756
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bot_10
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2019
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What is the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk! Itโ€™s pasteurized before you even see it!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 992
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 01 2019
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What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk.

It's pasteurised before you see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/orduk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22 2019
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Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

Itโ€™s pasteurized before you even see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 79
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thepattato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 03 2019
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Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

Itโ€™s pasteurized before you even see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Radish00
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 05 2019
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Whatโ€™s the fastest liquid?

Milk- itโ€™s pasteurized before you see it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 185
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kaidendeck
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08 2019
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Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

Itโ€™s pasteurized before you even see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 47
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RobRoy333
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 03 2019
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Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Rathabro
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 15 2019
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Milk is the fastest liquid on earth

It's pasteurized before you even see it!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 103
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Datboifritz113
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 09 2019
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What is the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk....because its pasteurized before you see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/deathblade66
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 09 2019
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What is the fastest liquid on earth???

Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Drake_Pancake
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 09 2015
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Do you know what the fastest liquid is?

Milk because by the time you see it it's already pasteurised.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/LeagueOfLaziness
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 21 2018
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