One line Labor Day jokes

Did you hear the one about Labor Day?
It works for me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Happy Labor Day to all the moms out there. We appreciate you!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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I had a joke about Labor Day...

unfortunately it didn’t work out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankenhiemer12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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My favorite thing about being born on labor day

Labor day I was born a pun and I love it. I'm legally pun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaoi_boi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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When is Labor Day?

About 9 months after Father's Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camthehombre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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Wait, its Labor day weekend...? imgur.com/UTHfso1
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aescobar32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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If tomorrow is Jesus' birthday, that makes today Labor Day. #HappyBirthday #DadJoke #KillingIt

That's it. Feel free to use it as your own. My gift to you, dads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisF79
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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Father in law was barbecuing for labor day

I asked if he wanted to help and he said Yeah for sure, but then I said "nah forget, you can just go shuck yourself". He was proud I married into the family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TEMPLEWORKER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
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Just now while cooking at my house on labor day... My dog was wondering around my kitchen.

Dad: You should have name your dog whisky Me: Why??? Dad: Because he's a licker Mom: sighs and slowly shakes head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burn23notice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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I had a friend who labored all day at a yogurt factory.

He was all work and Yoplait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pactin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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My wife decided today would be a good day for her water to break.

It's Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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When is the most appropriate time to deliver a child?

Labor Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riversquid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What is Hercules' favorite holiday?

Labor Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ripster26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why do so many people have sex on New Years

To be ready for Labor Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ucnthatethsname
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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To all pregnant women...

Happy Labor Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Decided to tell my parents some good news with a dad joke

"So, do you have to work on Labor Day this year?"

"No, we both have off."

"Did you hear they're changing it next year?"

"What?"

"Yeah, they're moving it to April."

Looks of confusion

"At least that's what my doctor said."

The dawning of comprehension on their faces, then big smiles and hugs!

..... Btw, I am a woman. I didn't specify in the post, but the context clue would be "MY doctor." I was just raised on sarcasm and corny jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonnieisstillhot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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What's another name for Mother's Day?

Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peaches_inthe_sun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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I think dads automatically gain access to a dadjoke reservoir the moment they become dads...

My aunt recently had a baby, and she was telling us about the experience the other day at a family get-together. How beautiful her little girl is, how amazing the experience was, yadda yadda. Then she told us about my uncle's reaction, which she was less than thrilled about.

When my uncle saw his daughter for the first time after my aunt had just labored for hours, he said:

"Damn, it's 2013, you'd think they'd have started making these things cordless by now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CloudyWithRain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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So my pregnant aunt began to have contractions...

My dad: Can't she hold it in? It's Independence Day not Labor Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legoalpha321
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
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The Book

My Dad was the worst. And by that, I mean the best. He had a Dad Joke for everything.

I accidently left my wallet in my pants and they went through the wash?

"Don't you know it's illegal to launder money?" He would crack.

We would drive by the cemetery and he would always remark.

"That place is so popular, people are dying to get in"

Many groans were had.

I would ask him, "Dad, where do you get all these awful jokes?" and he looked square in the eye and said.

"Son, on the day you were born - your Grandfather - my father gave me a book. '1001 Dad Jokes' and that where I get them from"

And life continued. Any opportunity to crack wise he would take it. Even when I moved out and got my own place it didn't stop. I had my Dad over to help me repaint the walls from cream to white.

"Boy" He whistled. "This wall sure pales in comparison to that one"

My eyes rolled and he just shrugged. "It's the book!"

He couldn't even help himself at my wedding and broke out a Dad Joke during the toast.

"If this is the toast, where are the eggs?"

"Sorry son, it's the book!" He said with a devilish grin.

So months pass and my wife is in labor at the hospital with our first child. I'm sitting in the waiting room with my dad for support. Suddenly, a nurse comes out beaming with glee.

"Congratulations, sir! It's a girl!"

Me and my dad jump up and whoop for joy, hugging. I can't wait to go in and see my wife and child.

"Wait son" My dad says and pulls a little book out of his jacket pocket. "This is for you"

I look at the little book and sure enough, it's "1001 Dad Jokes"

I tear up instantly.

"I...I.." I stammer.."I'm touched.."

My dad gets the world's biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

"Hi touched...." He pauses for effect.

"I'm Dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
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Jack and the Beanstalk meets Little Red Riding Hood

This is the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, after the story ends. After chopping down the beanstalk, Jack realizes that he’s actually pretty damn good with an axe, and casual vegetative vandalism really struck his fancy, so he began chopping down other trees for a living. He became a traveling woodsman, and he enjoyed many years of his simple life of manual labor.

One day, as he chops wood, he hears screams from a nearby cottage. Hurriedly breaking in (because recall: jack has no problem with entering houses uninvited), he sees a cross dressing lycanthrope attempting to devour a little girl dressed all in red and her little grandmother too. Wielding his trusty axe, Jack murdered yet another fantasy creature, and safely led Little Red all the way back home. Answering the door was a beautiful woman of around his age. After sending Little Red to bed, the two of them talked for hours.

One thing led to another, and a year later they were married with a child on the way. They had a beautiful little boy named Jack Junior who followed in his father’s steps to become a woodsman. This was fortunate, because as Junior grew up, Jack was feeling the pain of his previous adventures. An old back injury from jumping from the beanstalk was haunting him, and over time his posture grew more and more hunched. He had a tough time working, but at least Junior was becoming a strapping young man.

One day, Jack and Junior took the long road to the grandmothers place to bring her a meal, just like that fateful trio Red took so many years ago. When they arrived, the grandmother greeted them cheerily, welcoming them in and making conversation. β€œOh Junior,” she said, β€œyou’ve grown into such a handsome and strong young man. It’s so kind of you to handle all the work so your poor father, with his bad back and all, doesn’t have to. Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” Junior hesitated. β€œWell Grandma,” he replied. β€œIt’s because... I’m gay”. The close-minded, set-in-her-ways grandma’s expression became stormy. She pulled poor hunched-over Jack into adjacent room, and whispered angrily: β€œJack, your life is a mess! Your posture is terrible and your son isn’t giving me any grandsons!” Jack replied: β€œMa, we’re happy, you can’t just-β€œ But she interrupted. β€œNo excuses!” She snapped. β€œYou need to straighten your lumbar, Jack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coyoteTale
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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What did children used to celebrate on their date of birth when Industrial Revolution took place?

Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/valjayson3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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My wife is due with our first baby any time now and she made a poll to have the family guess when she would go into labor. Hilarity ensued.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyramids_of_Gold
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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My wife is going to be induced into labor tomorrow.

On Labor day. Seriously shes pregnant with our 3rd boy and hes over a week late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoolilba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
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Please send good thoughts to my coworker tomorrow.

His wife's due date was today, but nothing has happened yet. She will have the upper hand all day tomorrow. I can just see these happening.

Wife: "Honey, it's finally happening."

Husband: "What? Are you going into labor?"

Wife: "It's finally April Fools Day."


Wife: "Honey, it broke."

Husband: "What? Your water broke?"

Wife: "Water's still fine, I just broke my nail."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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Renaissance Festival on a hot day.

So we were at the local Renaissance festival on labor day and temps were getting up to the 90s. I see a guy carrying ice to one of the shops. Slyly I lean over to the wife and say: " Look honey, that guy has the coolest job."

Consider this one of my finest dad moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seifer_Extreme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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My old friend's dad's goof on early 80's politics will take your heart hostage.

Once upon a time in the 80’s, the religious supreme ruler of a middle eastern country fled outside military forces seeking to strip him of his power using whatever means necessary. Fearing for his life, he was secretly smuggled into the US where he reluctantly shaved his beard and attempted to blend in.

He successfully went native and got an apartment, and soon realized he needed a job to pay for food and rent. He didn't want to do any sort of manual labor or serve others, as he craved comfortable control. He eventually became a toll booth operator, where he enjoyed sitting in his high chair, making people pay him so that he would grant them passage. Over time he grew bold and began to use his own judgment on what vehicles would pay him for his blessing to cross.

One day, two semi-tractor trailer beverage trucks were in his line, a Pepsi truck in front, and a Coke truck behind. The Pepsi truck pulled up and he said "Pepsi truck, you may pass for free." The Pepsi truck driver happily accepted, and over his CB radio told the Coke truck driver β€œThis guy just let me through for free!”. When the Coke truck pulled up, hoping to also pass for free, the toll booth dictator said "Coke truck, you will pay me 100 of your American dollars."

The Coke truck driver was livid, and said "You let that Pepsi truck pass for free! You want me to pay 100 dollars?! That’s outrageous! I am going to report this! What is your name?!" Our toll booth operator proudly replied "Ayatollah Cokemainly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllUpInMyRizznus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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My boss dad joked a table in our restaurant.

One of us as managers usually go by any table celebrating a special occasion to recognize them for that. In this case a couple celebrating the impending birth of their twins. He thanked them for coming in, then hit her with this one.

Have a good labor day.

For those not in the US, labor day is the holiday coming up in two days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steakhaus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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Happy Labor day to all the moms out there. We appreciate everything you went through!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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What is a pregnant person’s favorite holiday?

Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustCheezits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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To all those first time mothers today

Happy Labor Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenofire
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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To all the mothers delivering babies

Happy Labor Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikejordan_23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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Went to a wedding this weekend

Dad gave the bride a hug and said, "I can't believe you are wearing white after Labor Day"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slvrbullet87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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