And now for the knightly news
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forgilead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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There was a knight whose job it was to guard other knights while they sleep

But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Who was the roundest round knight of the round table?

Sir Cumferance

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simp_For_WAHHH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I’d like to stay for two Knights please.
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells β€œyou smelt my armour!”

The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: β€œYes, and what a lovely scent it had.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Who was the fattest knight with roundest belly in King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?

Sir Valence.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Which one of King Arthur’s knights build the round table?

Sir Cumference!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

(My dad's a math teacher)

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hell-si
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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What do you call a knight that jousts all the time

Sir Lancelot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Who was the roundest of King Authur's Knights of the Round Table?

Sir Circumference. He ate too much pi!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?

A deus vult

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l30_legend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What do you call a knight that’s afraid to fight ?

SIR RENDER

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/son-of-CRABS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I dreamed I met a long snake-like fish who had been knighted by the queen.

It was Sir Eel.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.

Sadly I was defeated.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?

A-spear-iguess

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Distractednoodle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?

All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTattedspyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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How did the baker react when he was knighted?

He was Sir Pies.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/writer_savant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?

One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?

Sir Ohsis of the Liver

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call a knighted cow?

Sir. Loin

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somerando6
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What's the name of a knight of the round table?

Sir Cole.

β—―

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...

He was all out of swords.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Nobody expected this Knight in the battle.
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atreyudevil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.

Sir Veyor

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bombsaway1083
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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So if you get knighted by Bill Gates

Does that make you an edge lord?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeMaRiS1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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It’s a β€œknight light”
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnb1114
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What do you call a really fat knight?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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How do Knights communicate ?

Chain mail

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get terrified just thinking about it.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Lesser known Knights of the Round Table

β€œI was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield.” - Sir Prize

β€œI shall see you around.” - Sir Cumference

β€œWe shall fight on land or sea.” - Sir Fenturf

β€œI was the knight who was afraid to fight.” - Sir Render

β€œI was the unbelievable knight.” - Sir Real

β€œI was the knight that drank too much.” - Sir Rhosis

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I KNIGHTED AN ELECTRIC FISH.....

IT WAS SIR EEL

πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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We all know it
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oliv071b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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I'm starting my new job as a human chess piece.

The money is great. I'm on knights next week.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?

Bump in the knight

πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often

In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I just wanted to be her knight in shining armor
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWACS-Thunderhead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding...

She got mad and said she's never playing scrabble with me again

πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/User1N23456
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Aaah yess sire,
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Which knight invented the round table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4rn48
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight ?

Sir Render

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Which of King Arthur's knights crafted the Round Table?

Why, Sir Cumference of course!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tremerelord
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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The roundest knight at the round table

was Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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