I know a fireman with twin boys. The first one out was very lucky because his name is β€œJose.”

His brother, β€œHose B,” not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A Mexican firefighter had twin boys. His first son was named Jose.

His second son was named Hose B.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CromulentDucky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Jose Cuervo and I were talking about his favorite book...

Tequila Mockingbird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swash_mcbuckle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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I have a confession to make, I have illegitimate twin sons in Mexico. One is named Jose, and the other is named...

Hose B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodboyBill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know why scientists are having trouble tracking hurricane Jose?

It's because he's undocumented.

My dad said this while we're sitting through hurricane Irma...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phoenix1142
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I work with two guys names Jose.

Oh well that's easy, just call one Jose and the other one JosB.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punkbassninja
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend just started dating a boy named Jose

My dad says, "Oh yeah? What about 'hose B'?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/defygravity93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Who's Jose?

Who's Jose the blind guy? You know, "Jose, can you see? By the dawn's early light."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orginalusername
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2013
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Told my dad I was hanging out with my friend Jose...

"Why aren't you hanging it with Jos-B?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happy-Samper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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Did you hear about the mexican fireman whose wife gave birth to two sons?

He called them Jose and Hose B......

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Latino body builder that’s out of protein?

No whey Jose!!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salex16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/idk-a-username_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...

The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoahTheProtozoa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What special dietary request did the vegan Silicon Valley tech nerd have for his artisan cheese order in the Whole Foods?

No Whey, Jose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad-texted and tested joke

You heard about the bottle of cheap tequila that parked in the parking lot? The security guard came up and said, β€œHey, Jose, you got to leave.” Jose said, β€œΒΏPor quΓ©? It’s a parking lot and I’m parked.” Security guard replies, β€œDidn’t you see the sign? It’s PatrΓ³n parking only.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandapanda17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids?

Jose and Jos B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day and he asked me how runny I like my cottage cheese.

I told him "No whey, Jose"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Milk-Wizard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a storm forming behind hurricane Irma

No way Jose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjoking at the job

My co-worker Jose is Guatemalan. We usually joke on each other about our respective races but I refer to him as everything but Guatemalan. Mexican, Puerto Rican, Ecuadorian etc.

Today he pulled a stupid move at the end of the day. "Jose! Ya stupid Bolivian" "I'm not from Bolivia!" "Really Jose? Because I don't Boleev-ya"

Annoyed anger and squinted eyes were his only response.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elcielo17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who has run out of supplements?

No Whey Jose

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkproteus86
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My friends met my dad

I had some friends over my house when my dad came home.

Friend: Hello sir. I'm Jose.

Dad: Nice to meet you Jose. Looks around So, where's hose b?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leeswag
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose-B

Source: "Everybody Loves Raymond"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/getkarthikmr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
🚨︎ report
What disease can a ghost give you?

Haunt-avirus

Sorry if this repeats an earlier one. I just thought of this during a tour of the Winchester House in San Jose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
🚨︎ report
My co-worker didn't see the value in patience

I work at a shipping company. We'll call it YouPS. Anyway, my coworker, Jose, sees a barbell and asks me, "Why do people order weights in the mail?" I said back to him "I don't know, Jose. I guess they figured they could weight for it."

He just stared with anger as I laughed too hard to myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elcielo17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Only the cheesiest of dad jokes I dropped at Chipotle

One of the managers is Jose and I asked him, "Did you know there is a whole city in California where no one is named Jose?" "Really, where?" "San Jose! Huehuehue"

Groans all around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluedeadbear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2014
🚨︎ report
A fireman walks into a bar with his two sons...

And says...i want to buy a beer for my two sons. The bartender asks the fireman, "What are their names?" to which the fireman responds: " Well, this is Jose" pointing to the first son. "And this is Hose-B". Thanks for that one Dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrewsAndBitcoin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
🚨︎ report
This is true, believe it or not.

There's two brothers that work with me at my job. One guys name is Jose. The other's...Noway.

Noway And Jose.

I told Noway to thank his parents, they're are geniuses!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActionJackson22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes....must be a guy thing.

http://i.imgur.com/gjGiE7n.png

For those too lazy to click:
Dad posts a picture on my Facebook timeline that says, "MADISON NGUYEN FOR SAN JOSE MAYOR." His caption reads, "If Madison takes the election, it will be a Nguyen-win situation."
Sister comments: "Ugh."
Mom comments: "Double ugh!!!"
I comment: "Nguyen pho mayor!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyei8hts
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2014
🚨︎ report
My Dad on my guitar teacher

Dad: How are your lessons going? Do you like Jose?

Me: Yeah, he's a great teacher!

Dad: That's good, at least he's not Jos-b

BONUS MOMJOKE

Mom: At least he's not a ho!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markwarren_18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
🚨︎ report
A firefighter had two sons he named one of them Jose and the other Hose B
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goblin-with-a-GUN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My hispanic fireman friend had twin boys.

He named one Jose and the other Hose B.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Mexican fireman name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dos_dude
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican Fireman who’s wife had twins?

He named One Jose and the other Hose B.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkeyeCommoner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Mexican fire fighter name his twins?

Jose and hose B

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoothHAF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call two Mexican firemen?

Jose and Hose B

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckster360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
🚨︎ report

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