Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are gonna stop making ice cream and start their own branch of martial arts?

They call it Koo-Kee Do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked β€œwhat’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”

I told him; β€˜Surgery’.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BostonFan69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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What did Jerry Macguire say to the cow?

"Show me the Mooooo-ney!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My fiancΓ©e called me last night and said she was on the sofa with Ben & Jerry.

Sounded like she enjoyed her mΓ©nage Γ  froid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jocktx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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If Ben and Jerry broke up would they engage in a custardy battle?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Jerry Seinfeld keeps looking for bargains.

What’s the deal with that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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TIL A Ben and Jerry's employee fell into the chocolate coating vat last year

The company held a press conference to announce he's been completely covered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fileobrother
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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Jerry goes to the Dentist (x-post r/dentistry) youtube.com/watch?v=9oC1W…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandwiches4Ever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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Jerry Lawler dropped this one

"Dean Ambrose never beleved in Santa as a child .. He was a rebel without a Claus"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sledge824
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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Not sure how many Pro Wrestling fans on here but, Jerry 'The King' Lawler is a pro dad joker.

One of my all time favorites he made on air, I can't really remember the exact context as to why he said this but he said "I wear orthopedic shoes, so I stand corrected" One of many examples.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SethIdol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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Jerry Lee Louis anyone? imgur.com/1bpYmyl
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnTheRockCena
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog... buildings can’t jump

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoalaTeaNip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Who can drink 2 litres of Gasoline?

Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxiCato62
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I can't carry 20l of petrol

But Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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What kind of jokes do quarantined comedians tell?

Inside jokes.

(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tumalditamadre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Have you heard the news that Liberty University is suing the founder’s son and former university president?

That Jerry doesn’t Fall Well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reggin121
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Asked my friends if they could drink 5 litres of fuel and not be sick. Turned out.....

Jerry can.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Cheers to that
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamsidhu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Do you know who can drink 20L of petrol?

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMIKRON621
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Who can drink 5 gallons of gas and not get sick?

Jerry can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BabyxJolly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Who can drink 6 liters of gasoline and not get sick?

Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GonnaGoFat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joec0ld
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I'd never let my children watch the orchestra.

There's too much sax and violins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Why do skeletons shy away from horror movies?

They have no stomach for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomWittyNam3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Do you know who can drink a gallon of gasoline and not die?

Jerry can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Just lost two precious pets, Jeremiah and Thomas. Gonna miss you little guys

R.I.P...Tom and Jerry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Who can drink four gallons of gasoline?

Jerry can!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrollholio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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I'm not able to hold 5 gallons of gasoline in me...

...but Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThyNameIsP
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Not many people can drink gasoline

But jerry can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cor_II
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Who can consume all of world's Petroleum?

Ameri Can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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We were at the aquarium. All dads in the vicinity made the same joke.....

There was a man cleaning a tank but all you could see was his hand. My dad leans to me and says "look! It's a rare hand fish."

The dad next to us with his two kids said "look everyone? Do you see the hand fish? That ones my favorite."

As we walked a way another family walked up and I heard their dad say "here we have the hand fish."

Edit: I told my dad about the response this is getting, to which he replied "Wow. Is it going viral? Should I call my doctor?" (Keep in mind he doesn't know how the internet works.)

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2015
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I have tons of friends!

Jerry and Bob, my favorite sumo wrestlers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tien2707
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get ill?

Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/graemeboyle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Who can drink two litres of petrol?

Jerry can!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-do-do
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Who can drink 5l of petrol and not get sick

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patrick_L58
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Who can drink 10 litres of fuel without getting sick?

Jerry can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Penguino911
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Who can drink 2 litres of gas?!

Jerry can!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscordisMe5789
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get sick?

Jerry can.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Who can carry petrol?

Jerry can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Who can drink 5 litres of petrol without getting sick?

Jerry can.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welshyboy123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Who can drink 20 litres of fuel?

Jerry can!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can drink 2 litres of petrol?

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dog_shit666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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