Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are gonna stop making ice cream and start their own branch of martial arts?
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
What did Jerry Macguire say to the cow?
"Show me the Mooooo-ney!"
My fiancée called me last night and said she was on the sofa with Ben & Jerry.
Sounded like she enjoyed her ménage à froid.
If Ben and Jerry broke up would they engage in a custardy battle?
Jerry Seinfeld keeps looking for bargains.
What’s the deal with that?
TIL A Ben and Jerry's employee fell into the chocolate coating vat last year
The company held a press conference to announce he's been completely covered.
Jerry Lawler dropped this one
"Dean Ambrose never beleved in Santa as a child .. He was a rebel without a Claus"
Not sure how many Pro Wrestling fans on here but, Jerry 'The King' Lawler is a pro dad joker.
One of my all time favorites he made on air, I can't really remember the exact context as to why he said this but he said "I wear orthopedic shoes, so I stand corrected" One of many examples.
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog... buildings can’t jump
Who can drink 2 litres of Gasoline?
I can't carry 20l of petrol
What kind of jokes do quarantined comedians tell?
Inside jokes.
(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)
Have you heard the news that Liberty University is suing the founder’s son and former university president?
That Jerry doesn’t Fall Well.
Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?
Asked my friends if they could drink 5 litres of fuel and not be sick. Turned out.....
Do you know who can drink 20L of petrol?
Who can drink 5 gallons of gas and not get sick?
Who can drink 6 liters of gasoline and not get sick?
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
I'd never let my children watch the orchestra.
There's too much sax and violins.
Why do skeletons shy away from horror movies?
They have no stomach for them.
Do you know who can drink a gallon of gasoline and not die?
Just lost two precious pets, Jeremiah and Thomas. Gonna miss you little guys
Who can drink four gallons of gasoline?
I'm not able to hold 5 gallons of gasoline in me...
Not many people can drink gasoline
Who can consume all of world's Petroleum?
We were at the aquarium. All dads in the vicinity made the same joke.....
There was a man cleaning a tank but all you could see was his hand. My dad leans to me and says "look! It's a rare hand fish."
The dad next to us with his two kids said "look everyone? Do you see the hand fish? That ones my favorite."
As we walked a way another family walked up and I heard their dad say "here we have the hand fish."
Edit: I told my dad about the response this is getting, to which he replied "Wow. Is it going viral? Should I call my doctor?" (Keep in mind he doesn't know how the internet works.)
I have tons of friends!
Jerry and Bob, my favorite sumo wrestlers.
Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get ill?
Who can drink two litres of petrol?
Who can drink 5l of petrol and not get sick
Who can drink 10 litres of fuel without getting sick?
Who can drink 2 litres of gas?!
Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get sick?
Who can drink 5 litres of petrol without getting sick?
Who can drink 20 litres of fuel?
Who can drink 2 litres of petrol?
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