Spanish Inn Physician
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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You can’t just Swan Inn like that.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnikttam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I rely on hotels so much,

I've actually become quite inn-dependent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eli_Truax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".

It was a vile inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Why was Jesus born in a stable?

There was no womb in the inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleallred008
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph attend the online conference?

There was no zoom at the inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanlloyd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.

Reception said they had a doctor on staff.

The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.

I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff

They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid.

I got sick at this small hotel in Madrid. I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff. After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed that such a small place had a doctor. He nodded and said "NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mementh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.

Too much of an Inn joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Where does Black Panther stay when he's in New York?

His wakondo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truebman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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[Pun Request] Vampire Restaurant

Hope requests are allowed, I have a vampire ( or similar) running an inn, "Bring out your bread" in a tabletop game and I need ideas for food and drinks. Currently I have steak, bloody Mary, Ham Helsing, and Bram Sausages Dracula ( that one didn't really work when I played it)

Any suggestions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redTrakor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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My girlfriend and I were traveling thru Kentucky where we stayed at a lodge. She told me a humorous story out to the left of the wall of the building...

It was an inn-side joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I'm thinkning about opening a hotel that also sells footwear.

I think it would be a real Shoe Inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DLeck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Have you heard of the Fiddle Tavern?

It's also called the Vile Inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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If Kenny Loggins was to open a budget hotel complex in the woods...

.. Would they be called Kenny Log Inns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumthumsinaction
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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What do you call a confused motel?

A dazed inn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreenestfield
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I've been trying to get with a strange woman who lives in a Motel but she's playing hard to get.

Everytime I knock on her door she won't let me Inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Dadjoke from memory

Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.

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(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?

My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.

He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"

I like to think he slept on the couch that night.

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(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.

An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad's sitting before these stuffy, serious, wrinkly old board members and managers, having his (mostly military) resume picked through.

"Well Mister Smith, we're impressed. Twenty two years is no small amount of time to dedicate to the service. But do you feel you're qualified to operate and audit a civilian fission power plant?"

My dad thinks on it for a second.

"Well no, sir, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

He got the job immediately.

(For those needing the reference)

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Thanks for caring to read. I miss him a lot and this subreddit always reminds me of his sense of dry, quick humor. Take care!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morvick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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What do you call a hotel for lesbians?

Les-B-inn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undrwatersquad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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I once saw a pirate flood a tavern

Let that sink inn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystLuke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Why did the hotel manager move his raunchy painting out of his house and into his hotel?

It was inn-appropriate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danc777
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Imagine you're in the 1800s....

You're in a large city with a great port. You're in a nicer part of town, away from the water, in a nice inn. You're having a meal of potatoes. You look down - there's a toe! The toe smells like tar and fish. It stinks. Your neighbor leans over and says, "P.U.! That's not just any toe!! That's a portmanteau!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonespear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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My first dad joke as a father!

My first son was recently born 5.5 weeks early (he's doing great!)

As such, we hadn't set up a crib or nursery room yet in our apartment. Sitting around with my wife and aunt last night talking about how stressed we were bringing a new baby home to an apartment where we had no place to put him inspired the following exchange.

Wife: "It was kind of like the baby Jesus...no room at the inn kind of situation." Me: "Yeah, we ended up having to have him spend the night with our goat."

(Pause)

Me again: "I felt really bad for the kid. And our son too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camram07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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Unsolicited Calls. ‭

‭020 8125 7830‬: Hello, I’m calling about the accident you had in the last two years. Me: Gosh how did you know I trapped my cock in the hotel drawer? ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation) So you’ve had an accident within the last two years? Me: Yes I trapped my penis in the drawer at a Holiday Inn. Now it’s gone a funny colour, and hurts all the time. ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation.....) Click.

BLOCKED.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiBodoh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Where do local delinquents stay for October

Punk-inn.

Like pumpkin.

I'll go sit down...

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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What did the eggs Benedict name the hotel that it opened?

Hollandaise Inn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/totmur
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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So, a guy walks into a pub...

Most of you probably won't get this one. It's an inn-joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JawnsDoesReddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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My hotel in Charlotte, NC swindled me.

It was a Charlotte Inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propane13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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What do men and snow storms have in common?

You never know when they're going to come or how many inches your going to get!!

Thank you thank you, I'll be here all week at the Ramada Inn North, and please don't forget to tip your server!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bakunetsu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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My first paycheck

My first paycheck was washing the outside walls of a Ramada. It was an inn side job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockmixer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
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A roadside motel, couldn't get a gauge on it.

I just couldn't get a vibe for the place. On top of that, the lighting in the library area was terrible.

Hard to read inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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The worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Why were Mary and Joseph not able to join a conference call?

Because there was no Zoom at the Inn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle

It was a vile inn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RocketButtMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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The worst hotel I ever stayed at was called β€˜The Fiddle’

It was a vile inn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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The local bar is called The Fiddle,

but I never drink there. It’s a vile inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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The worst pub I've ever been in was called "The Fiddle"

It really was a vile Inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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