The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...
So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.
I accidentally used the wrong straw in my wife’s water bottle and broke it. She asked me to show her. I said...
This is the straw that broke the Camelback
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
How do you keep water in a hole in the ground until you need it?
I found a funny looking loaf of bread in the water...
How do you tell the sex of an ant? You drop it in water. It sinks: girl ant. It floats:...
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.
I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
Why is the tree in the water?
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.
That well escalated quickly!
I tried to skip the line in the water park
But i got caught and they wouldnt let it slide
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
Rest In piece the water i boiled
I hired someone to dig a hole in the ground to get water...
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
A man was tired of drinking well water as he didn't like the taste. In fact, he hated it so much that he decided to destroy the well using dynamite. Unfortunately...
Pretend you are on a raft in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks. You only have a one day supply of water and a harpoon. What do you do?
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.
I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"
If you throw a pair of fins in water, they'll float. But if you throw one Fin in the water
My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"
It didn't help, but I knew he meant well
What did the beaver say when he slipped in water?
Did you guys hear about the old man who fell in the hole that had water in it?
Yeah i guess he couldnt see that well
Why do the cops keep water in the trunk?
So that their siren does not die
Ever run out of water in the mountains?
I've been so bored lately that I've been sprinkling water on people's lawns in the morning.
It gives me something to dew.
Water in the Carburetor
WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?
WIFE: "In the pool".
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
Did you know you can tell the sex of ants by placing them in water.
A female will sink, if it doesn’t it’s buoyant.
To the water in my spray bottle:
You can actually tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in water.
If they float, they're boy ant.
A king sat on his throne in his beautiful kingdom. Before him were three glasses set on a table. The first two are filled with water, but the third one is empty. What is the name of the king?
Yesterday, I caught a fish, but then I threw it back in the water
It was Throwback Thursday
"Hey Son, thanks for letting me borrow your car. By the way I got some water in the carburator." "Where's my car?"
Have you heard the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water? No?
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.
It’s called the Redundant-Sea.
My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
How to tell the sex of an ant. Drop it in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats....
TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s buoyant.
My nephew said he was trying to help out when he spilled a bucket of water from the hole in the ground...
Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by putting it in water?
If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats, it’s boy ant.
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