A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
Do you know why divers fall backwards into the water
If they fall forwards they will fall into the boat
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
Do you know why scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water?
Because if they flipped forward, they'd fall into the boat.
TIL: Two elephants of the same herd won’t go into the same body of water together at the same time.
It’s because they only have one pair of trunks between the two of them.
A guy came into the store today and wanted a powdery substance that hardens when adding to water...
That's it... he gave no concrete details.
While we were out on the lake, my girlfriend swore she saw a bird dive into the water...
Why did the saylor jump into the water?
My friend ties fishing line to the zipper of his bitches then throws homemade lures into the water...
He says fly fishing is great fun!
What do you call a world where the water has turned into Fanta?
What do two people have when they both like to boil leaves in water, add milk, and put it into the freezer?
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
I was upset in front of my geography teacher because I couldn't find a stream of water that flowed into the Sea of Azol
Why do scuba divers fall back into the water from boats?
Because if they fell forwards they'd fall in the fuckin' boat.
(credit goes to SL, an old co-worker)
My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.
A paper fell into the water.
It was parchedment. A paper didn't move when the wind blew. It was stationery.
Sorry those paper jokes are tearable
Watching divers on TV with my wife. I asked her “Do you know why divers fall backwards into the water?”
“Cause if they fell forwards they’d fall into the boat.”
I’ve never seen her eyes roll harder.
When I was in the army, our captain told us to dress as water dwelling birds, make quaking noises and just recline lazily in order to blend into the environment. But I doubted how effective that would be.
I was sure we’d be sitting ducks.
I was on an amazing cruise, eating dinner on the deck looking out over the water when I dropped my silverware off the edge and into the ocean.
Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water?
Because if they went forward, they'd fall into the boat!
My father tells this one all the time to the youngest kids in the family. His father did the same. It gets to the point where my sister and I groan as soon as Dad gets that look in his eye and asks our cousins the question.
One of my junior sailors asked me why divers fall backwards into the water.
"Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat."
Back story. We give the new guys a hard time. It's tradition. Whenever we get a new kid they always send them to me with one of these questions.
Why do divers roll into the water backwards?
Because if they went forward they'd end up in the bottom of the boat. (Goddammit Dad)
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat into the water?
Because if they fell forward, they would still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
You know why scuba divers fall into the water backwards?
If they fell over forwards, they'd fall back into the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat
Why do scuba divers always fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water when they dive?
Because if they went forward, they’d fall into the boat.
Dad, question.... Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because son, if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat
Why do scuba divers dive backwards into the water?
Because if they dive frontwards, they fall back into the boat.
Why do scuba divers roll backwards into the water?
because if they rolled forward, they'd just go back into the boat
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