In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.

Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

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📅︎ Oct 14 2020
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Why'd the chef get poison ivy?

He needed an itch to cook from scratch.

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📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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I tried to cheat during my jog by taking a shortcut through some bushes, but I didn’t realize it was poison ivy...

That was a rash decision.

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📅︎ Jun 09 2020
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I think my friend who owns the apiary got into some poison ivy or something during a hike in the woods...

He has hives.

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📅︎ May 28 2020
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I visited a restaurant called The Ivy.

Of all the places I've been to, it's the fourth best.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 27 2019
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After having an allergic reaction to poison ivy I decided not to get it treated...

man have I made a rash decision

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👤︎ u/jfkas10
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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My wife offered me some benadryl for my poison ivy, but I told her I'd have to think about it.

I don't want to make any rash decisions right away.

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📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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Why was Batman not attracted to Poison Ivy?

Because of her breasts-in-plants

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📅︎ Jul 06 2018
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People told me that planting ivy on my body was a bad idea

but now I think it's grown on me.

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📅︎ Feb 05 2019
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Andy's aunt on The Andy Griffith Show got poison ivy on her arm and all she did was complain...

She was Bee-itchy!

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📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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What did James Brown say after he attended an Ivy League school?

“I FEEL WELL!!”

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📅︎ Jan 14 2019
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How many Ivy Schools are there in Rome?

IV.

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📅︎ Jun 13 2018
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I didn't think I would like the ivy my wife planted

But then it grew on me

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📅︎ Aug 19 2018
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Today I found out there are 8 schools in the Ivy League...

It should actually be called the VIII League

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📅︎ Nov 06 2017
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There is ivy growing up the trunk of a tree at my house. I don't really want to do anything about it though.

It could really use some devine intervention.

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📅︎ Sep 17 2017
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Just got hired and I'm already *that* employee

Me: (assembling boxes) i'll watch out for that plant.

Boss: yes please do, i've had that fern since it was just a sprout.

Me: awww. they grow up so fast.

Boss: yes. it'll probably start going to college soon.

Me: think it'll go to an... ivy league?

Boss: ...

Me: ...

Boss: ...

Me: ...so yeah I'll just pack these boxes and watch out for the plant.

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📅︎ Nov 29 2014
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I took a shortcut through some bushes, but didn’t realize I was walking into poison ivy...

That was a rash decision.

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📅︎ May 25 2020
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