Don't laugh. This is sirius.
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpasticGinger234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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That will be very Sirius problem
πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petarkefa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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That's pretty sirius ngl
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgentAqua7897
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Satellite radio crapped out. Dead Sirius.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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If Sirius Black was imprisoned in Baku.......

"Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azerbaijan"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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So punny, I am Sirius XD!!!
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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My dad came home for work and immediately got Sirius with me.

I recently bought a new vehicle, and signed up for the 3 month Sirius radio trial that comes with it.

My dad gets home from work and immediately comes upstairs and gives me the letter from Sirius radio to renew membership.

As he hands it to me he says: "Here's your letter from Sirius in case you decide to get serious about Sirius.

Been waiting all day to say that..."

I just smiled and shook my head.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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Told my dad our plane had Sirius satellite radio on our flight..

His response was "Well what if I want to listen to comedy?"

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lankyfireman526
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend

Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jezzter88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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This guy told me he was Harry Potter’s godfather. I thought he was messing with me.

He told me he was Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humidittities
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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It needed to be done reddit.com/gallery/i84j99
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluntologist1291
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Will you hurt your eyes if you look at the stars for too long?

This is a Sirius question.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nokiacrusher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

The fifth one was dead sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Black: Harry, I’m dead.

Harry: Are you serious?

Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

For meatier showers

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Automated-Waffles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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My wife believes she's a satellite radio.

At first I thought she was kidding, but apparently she's sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Harry Potter fan base in a nutshell.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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What did the person say when they learned how big stars can be?

You can’t be Sirius

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speedoc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."

Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.

I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I’m having trouble with my satellite radio.

It’s a Sirius problem.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dalonger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What is Harry Potter's favourite way of getting down a hill?

Walking.

JK Rolling!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mobile_Carrot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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Orion’s Belt is a huge waist of space.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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My Friend Told Me He Identifies As A Broadcasting Radio Station

I told him β€œYou can’t be Sirius”

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peperule34
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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On the dad joke scale, I got my first ever eye-roll and sharp exhale WITH a walk out of the room from my wife!

Me: Today was an awful day at work

Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it

Me: I’m not Sirius, I’m your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomez’s cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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EA Sports have released a new Happy Potter: Wimbledon game. You can be any of the well know characters: Ron, Harry, Hermione.

You cannot be Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpugh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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Conversation between Bellatrix Lestrange and Harry Potter:

Bellatrix: "I killed your godfather!"

Harry: "Are you serious?!?"

Bellatrix: "Dead Sirius."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Why won't people believe me when I tell them I'll be a star someday...

Guys, I'm Sirius!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tedthebar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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HP Dadjoke

Imagine if Sirius got married and has a kid and they were arguing and his kid was like 'Are you serious?' and he's be so torn. What dad joke does he make? 'Why yes I am Sirius' or 'No I'm not serius, I am dad'. Which one? Which one would he make?

I found this on the internet today and it was too funny not to share.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maart1403
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
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When he taught his students about the brightest star in the night sky, also known as the Dog Star,

he was Sirius about it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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[Serious] I firmly believe that this belongs here.
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pwnxor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2013
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Heard this while at a town festival this weekend

A guy was playing music while trying to sell his CDs. Between songs, he threw this out there: "Bought myself an AM radio the other day; I was really happy when I found out it still works in the evening!"

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenokira
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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When dad found out that his daughter is in love with the Dog Star,

He said, β€œYou can’t be f*cking Sirius”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Dad-joke level: Harry Potter

http://i.imgur.com/XdqyAbW.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hillai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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A dad joke of astronomical proportion

A friend an I were driving home when I noticed two bright stars in the sky I knew to be planets.

Me: "Do you know what planets those are?"

Him: "I don't know... Mars and Venus?".

Me: "I'm pretty sure they're Venus and Jupiter"

Him: "Yeah, I had no idea. I just pulled two planet names out of my..."

Me: "Uranus?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dangoodspeed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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My Dad was renting a car

My Dad was in the process of renting a car at the airport when the agent asked if he wanted to upgrade to Siriusβ„’ radio. Without skipping a beat, my dad responded: "No thanks, I think we'll stick with the lighthearted radio today."

It went right over the agent's head.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Surf_Ninja_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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H.P. dad joke

Was talking with my S.O. who mentioned Jack Gleeson (King Joffery) spoilt the death of Sirius Black in the Order of the Phoenix. When I called him a cunt for it she said "Are you seriously getting annoyed at that?". Her brother interjected "I guess you could say he's a Sirius fan!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyLeprachaun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
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My 6 yr old son did me proud with this one

Whole family watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, at the end Sirius makes his farewells and flies off on Buckbeak. As he flies off my son turns to be and says "not so Sirius now is he?"

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trotter1313
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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There's a meteor shower tonight in the constellation Orion.

I'm Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemomnemosyne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2012
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Got my girl friend with this one

My girl friend's Sirius satellite radio subscription ran out and she hasn't renewed it yet.

Her: I'm going to die with out my Sirius! I hate the regular radio

Me: Siriusly?

Her: ಠ_ಠ

Via text message

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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I just purchased 3 months of satellite radio after my trial expired...

I guess you could say things are getting pretty sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sconzen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

But the fifth oneβ€” dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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I found the first four books in the Harry Potter series to be quite light hearted.

The fifth was dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 222
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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Siri isn't serious

she is sirius!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rogocraft
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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my dads go to joke

Me arguing with my dad Me: I'm serious dad! Dad: no you're not, you are hoopla161 Dad starts cackling to himself

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoopla161
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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