Hydraulic ram
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Irish122
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...

It was very deer-pressing...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SmolloSmoller
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Go easy on your hydraulics

They're under a lot of pressure.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/geldonyetich
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion โ€“ but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits โ€“ all from late twentieth-century Terra โ€“ on a training study of Carterโ€™s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

โ€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are gradedโ€, exclaimed one student. โ€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?โ€

โ€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearbyโ€, said Feghoot. โ€œLet us walk that way while I explain.โ€ As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carterโ€™s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

โ€œI seeโ€, said the student. โ€œItโ€™s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s right,โ€ Feghoot went on smoothly. โ€œYou just hit the road jack and donโ€™t come back no mo.โ€

His students registered dismay and anguish.

โ€œIsnโ€™t that right, old-timer?,โ€ Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

โ€œAhm afraid not, suhโ€, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. โ€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. Itโ€™s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

โ€œSo you see,โ€ he finished, eyes twinkling, โ€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.โ€

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. โ€œAnd heโ€, he said, turning to his students, โ€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nomnommish
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Whatโ€™s the difference between a giraffe and a jcb??

One has hydraulics the other has high boll****

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rossco1874
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Had a great one at work that nobody will know about

Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.

Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said

"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SSV_Kearsarge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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You know who's really been crushing it lately?

The Hydraulic Press Channel.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jerkstore_84
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2016
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Engineering Professor (who has kids) got our entire lecture

Prof: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "Its where you get steel wool!" Lecture students: groans/laughs

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/golfman246
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
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What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe

One has hydraulics one has high bollocks

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FloppyNibs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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