The AC was broken at the hotel lobby I am staying at.
I wasn't expecting such a warm reception.
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
My hotel elevator. Schindler’s Lift
The worst hotel I ever stayed at was called ‘The Fiddle’
I'm having second thoughts about my appointment to stay at a Native American hotel.
I'm having reservation reservation reservation. (BR)
What does u/username do when he hates the hotel he’s staying at?
An Italian man walks into a prestigious hotel.
After inspecting his room, he comes back to the hotel manager saying, "I would like six forks and a sheet" after noticing the absence of those items in his room.
He gets kicked out.
"Why did you kick him out?" says one of the hotel staff.
"He told me he wanted sex, fucks, and a shit!"
A photon walks into a hotel
The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage? The photon replies, "No thank you, I'm traveling light."
Thinking about opening a hotel for weed smokers.
I’m gone call it Swisha Suites. Lol!
What do you call hotel with a lot of floors?
I am staying at a hotel and watched a great movie last night with lots of cowboys, gunfights, and drinking.
It was the Best Western I’ve ever seen.
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
I had been lost in Las Vegas for days, wandering the streets. Up ahead, I thought I saw my hotel...
I'm thinkning about opening a hotel that also sells footwear.
I think it would be a real Shoe Inn.
What do you call a group of chess players talking about their wins in the lobby of their hotel?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
What did the cracker say when he checked into a 5 star hotel?
Why are tight pants like a cheap hotel?
I’m opening a butchers shop above a hotel.
It’s a cut above the rest.
My Dad and I went to a 5-star hotel. Hostess: Do you have reservations?
Dad: No, I am confident that I want to eat here
My review for a hotel run by pigs:
Great hogspitality; 5 stars
I’m pretty sure that the hotel receptionist was checking me out.
The hotel room I’m staying in is a gross place
I stayed at a hotel last night and came home with bed bugs!
If Kenny Loggins was to open a budget hotel complex in the woods...
.. Would they be called Kenny Log Inns?
Am I accepted into med school now?
I was going to a fencing tournament with my teammates. In our hotel the night before, while unpacking, one of my teammates hit her head on a lamp. Rushing over I asked her if she was ok, or if she was feeling light-headed.
(Don't worry, she was perfectly ok)
I tried to get a room at the library hotel
But everything was booked.
The Russian president visited New York and stayed at a pretty swanky hotel.
He was Putin on the Ritz.
Welcome to the Hotel California...
When my friend, a CIA agent, arrived at the hotel in Syria, dead insects were scattered all over the floor...
He had to sweep for bugs.
You know, we only have Gandalf to thank for Hotel California
After all, he did bring us the Eagles
Four men are sitting in a hospital waiting room because their wives are all giving birth,
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”
“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”
“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”
“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.
“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
They opened up a new hotel downtown called The Clitoris.
It only has one star though, nobody is able to find it.
I recently overheard two chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby. They were bragging about their previous victories
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What's the frog's job at the hotel?
I got some new pants the other day, but it turns out they’re cheap hotel pants.
A man walks into a hotel and says 'I have reservations'
The guy at reception says 'let me put your fears to rest'.
We got an upgrade of our hotel room.
Away on vacation and got the card to our hotel room. Told my wife: “ nice we’re staying in the pie room.”
“What’s a pie room?” she replies, Room 314. We’re staying in room 314. Should have seen the look on her face.
What do you call breakfast at a hotel in Green Bay?
I had to get out of the small hotel business in Europe.
It was a hostel work environment
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?
I saw two chess masters in a hotel lobby they were bragging about past wins...
... I guess you could say that they were chessnuts boasting on an open foyer.
I used to think that motels were just better hotels
because there was mo of it
My wife and I can never agree on vacations
I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase. I said, "Don't forget your Baghdad."
This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
Towards the end of December, I saw Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov in a hotel lobby, both saying they were the better chess player.
That's the best thing about Christmas - chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
While checking in at the hotel: desk person asks if we have reservations, Dad says “we did, but we came anyway”
I was staying at a hotel.
Some people took the stairs to their rooms, and some took the elevator. Right then I realized everyone was raised differently
3 guys walk into a pink hotel
Three guys walk into a pink hotel, they go threw a pink door, it's the pink reception desk and sign into the pink book.
The lady dressed in pink walks them up the pink stairs, down a pink hall then gives them the pink keys to their pink rooms.
They all walk into their pink room, put their suitcases down on the pink carpet, then place their clothes in a pink cupboard. They have a bath in their pink shower and dry themselves with the pink towels. They finally go to sleep in the pink beds.
They wake in the morning and go downstairs to have breakfast. They have their pink bowls, pink cups and pink cutlery. When they are asked what they want for breakfast one man says he will have weatbix and the other two say they want cornflakes.
Once they are finished their food, they pack their suitcases up and leave the pink hotel.
The moral of this story is that two out of three people prefer cornflakes...
A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says “ I hope there’s Halls back at the hotel”.
Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?
Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.
I’m not dad, I’m just baked.
What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
Checking in at a hotel and the front desk agent tells me they don’t have a bell hop for the night.
I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.
She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... “check out is at 10”
At my local hotel right above the pancake machine.
Brothel would be a perfect name for a hotel run by brothers, but it's already taken
Staying at a hotel and this was on my bed
My wife just gave birth to our first born, and I noticed hospitals are a lot like hotels
The womb service is great
Jesus walks into a hotel...
Puts down four nails and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
what do you call a hotel room made out of cake?
I was really unsure about booking my recent hotel stay.
Had reservations about the whole thing.
What's a baby's favorite thing at a hotel?
A drunk guest returns to his hotel and says to the clerk "Hi. I've forgotten what room I'm in."
Clerk responds, "No problem, sir. This room is called 'The Lobby'"
I was in a hotel elevator the other day
Why did the hotel manager move his raunchy painting out of his house and into his hotel?
What do you call a hotel for lesbians?
Spotted at my hotel in Turkey
What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite hotel chain?
The hotel I work at got a huge reservation today
250 chessmasters for some huge tournament. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I have to listen to chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
As I entered the room and noticed the lack of services, I thought to myself, "I'll never stay in a hotel anymore."
Photon checks into a hotel. Bellhop asks, “Do you have any luggage?”
Photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call a bunch of Chess players bragging about their games in the hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Those pants look like a cheap hotel
No ballroom...
...I'll show myself out.
A photon checks into a hotel...
The bellhop asks, "sir, do you have any luggage?" The photon respons, "No, I'm travelling light".
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase
I said "Don't forget your Baghdad"
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
My father and i were leaving an hotel in iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase... so i told him
Don't forget your Baghdad
Did you hear about the day Bobby Fischer and Garry Kasparov were sighted at a hotel lobby, bragging about their talents? They were...
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
How does a hotel room taste?
I saw two gentlemen playing chess in the hotel lobby talkong avout past wins
They were Chess Nuts Boasting in an open foyer
A photon checks into a hotel
the bellhop asks “can I help you with your luggage?”, the photon replies “no thanks, I’m traveling light”
What do you call a bunch of chess players discussing their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage...
But the photon say "Nah, I'm travelling light"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
