The lady who hems my pants appeared anxious...

In fact, I know she seamstressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?

you only get one shot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ways_and_means
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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This left me in stitches...
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aimilah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I present to you... The Hem Seamwich
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaylithVonKola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine

She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotcheetopuffs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My wife was fixing the length of my son's pants and I asked her how much that cost, was it a Chris, Luke or Liam?

She looked at me confused and said "What?"

I said, "I want to know how much that hem is worth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notathrowaway2937
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Why did they hire Chris to play Thor?

Because Hems-worthy

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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What do you call a bird that sews?

A hemming-bird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealMeaning42
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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My friend opened a tailor shop that also is a moving service...

She hems and hauls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I got a new pair of pants that were too long.

I considered taking them to a tailor to get shortened, but I think doing it myself was the more earnest hemming way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMonster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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What do a group of men and church songs have in common?

They’re both hims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkhorseswag
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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My wife thinks this one sucks

How do you get the attention of a seamstress?

a-HEM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robotbrigadier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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My Taylor Swift dad joke

I'm a dad. I came up with this one yesterday.

"I thought Taylor Swift was a same-day hemming service"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terpene
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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Slick dad joke used in title Toronto Star article reporting spill on highway

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/07/19/salad-dressing-spill-on-dvp-ramp-causes-traffic-mayo-hem.html

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadasecond
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
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