Hateful Puns

Now I've got post traumatic stress

Hopefully, their future robots and A.I. will be more PC.

Their nicknames are: Brat, Soap and tali

I just think there offal

I pun-ish him

Let’s just make them dissapear oh wait they hate puns never mind

I told them, "Really though, I; Jenn, Hugh, Juan, Lee, hate puns.

I don't pind them punny.

all of my friends hate puns to the core, but i love them so so much and i like to annoy them with the really really bad ones, so give me your best reddit and make me proud :D

He made a pun in the shower, we giggled, and I noted how he's gone from hating puns to making his own. I called him my "young Padawan" and he responded, "You mean, Pun-awan?" It was seemless. I lost my shit. Just wanted to share with you guys :)

Wife: Why do I feel so old?

Me: You're not that old. Why do you feel so old?

Wife: It's mainly my feet, they hurt.

Me: Well, you know why that is right?

Wife: Why?

Me: You must have "old soles"

Cue groaning, eye rolling, and her typical exclaimation that she hates puns.

This story happened, just shortly after my daughter was born, at work.

I had a coworker who hated puns. I had made a particular bad one, I completely forget what it was. Just an on the fly thing.

Suddenly my coworker stands up and the following exchange happens:

Him (loudly proclaiming): Puns are awful. They're terrible. Puns are the lowest form of comedy. Only the most infantile people laugh at puns. We need to have a pun jar... like a swear jar, but instead of swearing we put a quarter in it every time someone makes a pun.

Me: (after a short silence) That sounds like a GREAT idea.

Him (confused): No, it's like a swear jar but you put money into it when you swear.

Me: Yeah I understand that

Him: You'd be the hardest hit with that.

Me: Yeah, I understand that. Nevertheless it has my wholehearted support.

Him: (Now very VERY confused) Why would you support something that would hurt you more than anyone else?

Me: Because... we could totally call it the PUNishment jar.

There were three people who clearly heard this exchange. Each one busted out laughing so hard... one of them was pounding his fist into his desk. The look on this poor guy's face: priceless.

Basically we somehow got on the topic of hipsters and irony. My Dad wanted to make a sort of pun to annoy my sister, because she hates puns.

Now I figure most people would make some sort of reference to an iron "e", and that would be it. But oh no, that's far too simple for him. He says something along the lines of,

"If they're ironic (or defined by irony), doesn't that make them Pharisees?"

So you've got to know that "Ferrous" refers to iron, and then to have some basic knowledge of the New Testament or at least have heard of the Pharisees before. This kind of works on another level because the Pharisees were accused of saying one thing and doing another, which could be said to be ironic to some degree. Of course I've just killed the frog at this point, but I mean if you're ever around some Chemists who have some knowledge of the bible, you might get a slight chuckle, or perhaps even a nod. I'm not really even sure if this qualifies as a Dad joke, but there ya go.

I'm not really a mourning person 😔

I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.

It ruins the atmosphere

But then it grew on me

I do

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

it’s way too cheesy

She isn’t your friend anymore.

They don't like Beef.

Because he loved Pi, not cake

In your head in your heeeaaad

I think it's pretty hot.

I’m never quite ready to take the plunge

It’s the two days after I can’t stand!!

....and realise we went to school together.

They could have at least waited until I got dressed and left.

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

But then it grew on me

She thinks they're tearable.

There is no spoon.

She's a cross aunt.🥐

That is, the wurst.

March 4^th !

The last straw.

At my high school there's an annoying dude who hates puns so if you have any really bad ones I need you to comment...

I'm gonna send him to PUNintentiary!

I won't stop till he PUNches me!

I told her, "your mother-in-law is way better than mine!"

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.

I'm not really a mourning person.