How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each otherβs jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
π︎ 626
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
My friends asked me why I hang my grapes outside to dry
I told them, βI have my raisins.β
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
What do you call German children you donβt want your kids to hang out with?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What crime fighting duo hangs out at the noodle shop?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Where does Santa hang his clothes?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...
It's one small step for Nan....
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
If you get a call from a canned meat company, hang up immediately...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
I used to know a mushroom named Gus who was a blast to hang out with. That changed the day his girlfriend left him.
She said she preferred 2 fun-guy over one fun-Gus.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
Why do valley girls only hang out in odd numbers?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
Why isn't 1 allowed to hang out with 0 anymore?
Because 1's mom says 0 is naughty
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
Why do teenagers hang out in groups of 3, 5, or 7?
Because they just can't even.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I never should have let E hang out with D, C, AA and AAA.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Why do ghosts hang out at bars?
π︎ 99
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
What's similar between hang, hinge and hong
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
Why do teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers?
Because OMG they canβt even.
π︎ 498
π
︎ Apr 13 2020
Why don't koalas hang out with other bears?
Because they don't meet the koala-ifications
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
Where do astronauts hang out?
π︎ 70
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
My friend challenged me to a hang gliding race, and he got angry after I beat him.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
You should not date an American woman if she hangs the flag of China in her bedroom
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
So proud of my daughter! Weβre watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: βDog canβt hang because sheβs a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:
Donβt you mean a βFur-rariβ?
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 09 2020
What do you call birds that always hang out?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
I love my local team so much I hang from the ceiling and spin around.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
My wife was hanging 7 pictures in a row on the wall when I told her should should hang 3 over 4.
Itβs created a real division in our home.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and hangs on your wall...
Art.
Two guys with no arms and no legs and hangs on your wall? Curt n Rod.
No arms and no legs in a bathtub? Dwayne.
No arms and no legs at your front door? Mat
No arms and no legs and playing in the leaves? Russell
At the city dump? Phil
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
My wife won our house today as she wanted me to hang this piece eye level.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
What has a little penis and hangs down? A bat. What has a big penis and hangs up?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
Where do you hang your clothes to dry if it's raining in Ireland?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
Why did OJ Simpson and Tupac never hang out?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
so for Christmas I decided to hang a decoration that shows both my love for music and for our founding fathers
Itβs a wreath of Franklin
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
In Australia they prank call old people and just say OK boomer and hang up. Itβs getting so popular it has a nameβ¦
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
Why donβt koala bears hang around with all the other bears?
Because they don't meet the koala-fications.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
There's a few crows that hang out near near my house and ...
I've been throwing out some popcorn and sometimes bread crumbs instead of composting it. They like it. And I like them. They'll CAW at me sometimes when I get in the car.
I've heard that Crows....when they like you...they'll leave little gifts for you on your door step. Shining things, like bits of foil, bottle caps, buttons...etc.
And while it's not explicitly stated...they do expect something in return.
It's Quid Pro Crow.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
Why do farmers hang bells around the necks off their cows?
Because the horns doesnt work
π︎ 79
π
︎ Apr 21 2019
Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?
π︎ 157
π
︎ Oct 26 2019
Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?
π︎ 61
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
