It really takes gutsβ¦
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 10 2023
I had a gut feeling and I was right
I really needed to take that dump
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 13 2023
Astronaut 1: βI canβt find any milk for my coffee.β
Astronaut 2: βIn space no one canβ¦ here, use cream.β
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 12 2023
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 06 2023
Just checked my home insurance and gutted to find out, if my duvet gets stolen at night
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 03 2022
Did you hear about my odd morning?
First I found a hat full of money, and then I got chased by a guy with a guitar.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Mar 31 2023
Ich bin nicht gut mit Titeln
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 02 2022
A man came up to me and said: βIβm going to whack you with the neck of my guitar!β
I said: βis that a fret!β
π︎ 65
π
︎ Apr 12 2023
Uncle Frank said 'trust your gut'.
Good thing we ate Frank, my gut said he would call the police if he got out.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 28 2022
I taught my biology class with a mislabelled diagram of the human digestive system and they completely fell for it
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 04 2023
Whatβs the last thing to go through a bugs mind when he hits your window
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 21 2023
Why donβt skeletons fight each other?
They donβt have the guts for it!
π︎ 63
π
︎ Mar 28 2023
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
And a good heart, too.
I hope i de-livered this joke right.
π︎ 719
π
︎ Nov 18 2021
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Mar 07 2023
I opened the cabinet and didn't see the flatbread at first. But I had a gut feeling of where it was hiding.
I guess you could call it my naan-sense.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 12 2022
I knew I had to fart!
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 04 2023
It takes guts to be an organ donor
For real tho. Donate your organs. It saved my dads life π
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 15 2021
Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the dance?
He had no body to go with.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 24 2023
Why can't Germans count to 10 in english
Then always stop at NEIN!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 25 2023
Me: "Mom, I hate Dad's guts"
Mom: "Shut up and eat what I feed you"
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 02 2022
A dad bod is like a poorly designed website.
The best part is below the fold.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 03 2023
Why didnβt the skeleton ask out his crush?
He didnβt have the guts.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 24 2023
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
A newly wed couple goes to the emergency room, both claiming to have extreme pain in their lower abdomensβ¦
The nurses run some tests and eventually do an X-ray of their intestines. When the doctor comes in, the husband asks, "Well, what's the verdict?" The doctor says, "Congratulations, it's his and hernias."
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 12 2023
Need some fight-related, video game puns for an action movie Iβm making
They can be really obscure and dumbβ¦.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 20 2023
I had to go the doctor because I've been having lots of irregular bowel movements
They diagnosed me with all kinds of weird shit
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 20 2022
Adolph Hitler was secretly Bald
His closest allies reported he wore an Herr piece
π︎ 614
π
︎ Nov 05 2022
I was in Scotland recently and tried haggis. I didn't like it because...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 12 2023
What men have the most guts?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 29 2022
My dad entered a bodybuilding contest.
He lost to Dr. Frankenstein.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 26 2023
On every street corner in my town, there's yet another person playing a string instrument.
I am so sick of all this luting.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Dec 28 2022
I'm at the hospital for the birth of my first child, but no one is laughing at my jokes.
I really need to work on my delivery.
(But seriously, I'm about to be a dad. My wife rolled her eyes at this joke then called me "loco".)
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 11 2022
What did the doctor say to the patient who insisted on sewing up their own wound?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Sep 23 2022
How do you know Eskimos arenβt lying?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 18 2023
It takes guts ....
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 01 2021
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 30 2022
What did the retired power tool take for its allergies?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 16 2022
I got arrested for thought crimes because
π︎ 56
π
︎ Nov 02 2022
Riot at the beer garden!
It turned into a real brewhaha.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 30 2022
It takes guts
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 29 2023
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
π︎ 129
π
︎ Feb 16 2023
It takes a lot of Gutsβ¦
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 09 2022
It takes gutsβ¦.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 13 2022
It takes guts ...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 05 2022
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
It takes guts to be an organ donor
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Mar 19 2019
Why didnt the skeleton fight the monster?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 21 2023
It takes guts to make a sausage.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
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