It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.

Nice touch.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tombsing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Image Gallery
πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to an art gallery in my van...

But when i came back i couldn’t find it. Where did my Van Gogh?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/strychinine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear they're putting all of Claude Monet's paintings in a free gallery

They're de-monet-ising his work.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BearryBonds
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
VIPea gallery
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mthomaswang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you all hear about the robbery at the picture gallery?

Apparently, the robber stole some cash and a large frame, but as he was leaving he threw the large frame at a customer.

When the police showed up, the customer said,

β€œIt wasn’t me! I’ve been framed!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daily_prophet09
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
After my performance at the shooting gallery, the coach said, "Take a bow."

"Shooting isn't your cup of tea," he continued, "You better switch to archery."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If someone told you foreigners stole canvases from the art gallery, don't believe them.

They were framed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Nickleback say in the art gallery?

Look at this photograph

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttcarnage
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
🚨︎ report
President Bush dad jokes his daughter (and the nation) during art gallery interview. [Video, @1:14]

Jenna Bush Hager interviews her dad (Bush 43) for an NBC special on the opening of his art exhibition at the Bush Presidential Library. About a minute in, he slips in a pretty good dad joke:

Jenna: Do these people know that you are painting them?

Bush: Sort of. There's no telling how these people are going to react. I think I told Tony [Blair] I was painting him and he sort of brushed it off.

Jenna: No 'art pun' intended.

Bush: That was definitely an art pun.

http://www.today.com/video/today/54864022#54864022

Edit: Grammar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Not mine. But always makes me giggle
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alca87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t tell the mods that this is a repost.

https://imgur.com/gallery/n5TLdNy

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A Medium Rare Pun
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insteadoflattes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Believe it.....

My wife and I just had our first child! (Well, she had him and I stood there all supportive like) Gibson is 10 weeks old now and ready for meme glory. https://imgur.com/gallery/NOL14WO

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/great69m
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter, who ran upstairs to tell me our downstairs toilet was smoking.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

πŸ‘︎ 627
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superdad0206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A baby born now, in 2033, will be a...

Quaran-teen

Source: My local mechanic, bless his heart

http://imgur.com/gallery/XYWedTN

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneBullseye
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.

It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0NSTABEL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My husband: "Look at this mind-blowing machine I found in the bathroom!"

http://imgur.com/gallery/LVgGlW7

My eyes nearly rolled out of my head.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScrollButtons
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
You’ve heard of the Unicorn, the Pegasus, and perhaps the Alicorn...

... but have you heard of the https://imgur.com/gallery/4AoWzzB ?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagiKKell
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my first tattoo today

But it was only temporary.

(I see that image posts aren't allowed in this sub but gosh darn it, I earned this one. I throw myself on your mercy, mods.)
(Edit: Amazing, thank you for the silver, gold, and the platinum reward of Reddit: long self referential chains of bad jokes.)

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theophan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked the guy in the store where is the terminator dvd ...

He responded, β€œAisle B, Back”

Edit: wow first silver!!!! Thank you πŸ™πŸΎ anonymous Redditor!

Edit2: my wife doesn’t use reddit. She’s thoroughly enjoying the responses to the joke in the joke jar she created for me and the silver (β€œwhatever those are”). Happy Father’s!

Edit3: https://imgur.com/gallery/5G25Flw wife got me a nice gift 🎁

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_r_i_e
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Would anyone like a brownie? Free of charge!
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_sewer_rat_0900
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad sent me this today: "All they're talking about on the news is the coronavirus. Nobody said anything about the damn coronapox!"

http://imgur.com/gallery/XgScS7E

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Danhunter753
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When you fire a Laser gun

https://imgur.com/gallery/TMpi7zN

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RaymonDGYC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Make sure to lift your left foot up at midnight tonight.

Start 2020 off on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/macbeezy_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m sure this isn’t original but I thought it wasn’t funny when I made it

https://imgur.com/gallery/6xrn4EV

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/69gay_satan69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Tap on the screen...

Tap on the screen...

I hope this is allowed here...πŸ˜‰

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikthise042
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you give to a potato chip that you want to marry?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue-lue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is CRISPR’s favorite actor?

Gene Hackman

πŸ‘︎ 302
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/threewolfmtn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did he take it literally or figuratively?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insteadoflattes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the Native Americans in America before anyone else?

They had reservations

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My GF leaves me notes around the apartment...

Today I found this one.

Edit: Wow, thanks for the positive responses. Here are some more notes from her. Thank you reddit, for making my girlfriend famous for a day, she quite enjoyed your comments after a hard day's work :)

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SLOBaron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
If you're the parent of a kid named Zoey, what does that make you?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insteadoflattes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
DadJokes are proof that comedy skips a generation.

http://imgur.com/gallery/3GUE8

This was a group text from me to both of the kids. The younger was born exactly nine months from the Tuesday in question. The older one responded with a thumbs down.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ty10drope
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Coat of Arms
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwordOfCheese
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle is an OG dad, schooling us all

Blatantly stolen from my Uncles Facebook page (link in comments):

Uncle: I'm proud of myself. Instead of goofing off this summer, I chose to go back to school and better myself. I enrolled in a course and have spent the past few weeks in intense study, finally passing the final exam today with a score of 100% - a score that I'm pretty sure they don't see too often. It's not often that I toot my own horn, but this time I think I really deserve it. Thank you to everyone who helped me achieve my goal!

Friend: Congratulations! What subject?

Uncle: It was Traffic School. Speeding ticket. The system wanted me to fail.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaSquad1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Well...
πŸ‘︎ 311
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XLeoInTheDarkX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Yes, I can!

Got my daughters with some quick thinking last night.

I was annoying my younger daughter with some fatherly banter when she complained, "Dad, can you NOT?"

To which I replied, "Yes, I can! I just take two bits of string and tie them together."

My bonus reward was the sound of my older daughter noisily expelling the big mouthful of drink she'd just had back into her cup, before laughing her head off.

My work here is done...

πŸ‘︎ 984
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unfairrobot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
🚨︎ report
The kids are getting Nintendo Switches this year..

Since you can't post pics here for some reason (doesn't say anything about it in the rules as far as I can tell) here is a link.

https://imgur.com/gallery/SNde2aX

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OHMEGA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's last name is Pan. We were making hot dogs. She was debating how I should cook them, so I said "I like to put my wiener in a pan".

It worked well. The hot dogs were delicious.

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myheadfire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What's a prostitute's favorite axis?

whoreizontal

πŸ‘︎ 157
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gmtarkin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Man lives through plutonium blast

http://imgur.com/gallery/gviQXp5

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jessicamshannon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Looking at some fake fruit on the table, my dad said, β€œoh no!”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebluebox3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
This this is concerning
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johndeerdrew
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.