I dropped a hot fudge sundae on my foot

I scream

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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My mom made some fudge the other day. I asked if it was male or female.

Nuts or no nuts?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VAOkie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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β€œOh FUDGE!” I yelled as if I had forgotten something...

As we were driving by the chocolate store. Groans had by all.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef

A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef. He invites 3 renowned chefs from all over the kingdom to serve him and the favorite will become the new royal chef!

The first chef serves the king an enormous rack of ribs. "Very impressive," said the king.

The second chef serves a huge steak, cooked to perfection. "So satisfying," said the king.

The third chef gives the king a plate with small rocks on a bed of shredded cabbage. "What the hell is this," the king asks.

The third chef says, "These rocks fell from the sky into my back yard. Indeed, ribs and steak are very meaty, but asteroids are meteor!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppardee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Candidates for the president of the Evolution Society said that the anonymous votes were fudged...

But the committee assured them it was just natural selection!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Just got my grandma good, and made my father proud

After eating dinner with my parents and grandma, I got a bag of Little Bites Fudge Brownies from the pantry. My grandma asks me if they were from the box. I hold them up and point to the package and say β€œno they’re from the bag”

My dad and I lost it and started crying. Pray that we find it soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beansforlife
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Potterheads Assemble!

Fleur Fudge's Snape, how many times must I say that I Love-good Harry Potter Puns. I could Mun-go on and on. I don't wand you to feel bad tho.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_BlueBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Apparently they tried to weaponise yeast infections ......

It was truly bread for war.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayforder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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De low-res Umbridge
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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What do you call a dessert that cares about their privacy?

Anony-mousse!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2016
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Where do they put you when you're arrested in the Chocolate Kingdom?

Behind Fudge Bars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SopwithStrutter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Where do you go, if you don't believe in Gosh?

Heck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_e123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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So I don't swear in front of the kids...

Something just popped up on my laptop and gave me a jump-scare. I said "Oh Fudge, what is that?" My GF replied with "It's a sweet made from sugar, butter and condensed milk".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2016
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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Went to an icecream place yesterday

I asked for a hot fudge Saturday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plasmm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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My Dad used this a lot at McDonald's drive-in too.

Person at drive-thru: Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?

Dad: yes,I would like a chocolate fudge sundae female please.

Person at drive-thru: ummm sorry female?

Dad: yes female, no nuts.

Never failed to pull up to the window to a blushing employee...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maximus_Pain
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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Is there only 3 minutes left on the brownies?

Best Friends GF-No it needs a little extra time. I fudged it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteensecnds
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
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Who do you call when someone steals your chocolate?

Fudge Judy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudongoscavern
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
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