Forbidden
πŸ‘︎ 698
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hustle_like_demon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Catholic priests were forbidden from learning math until the 20th century

Before that it was a cardinal Sin

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.

It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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I'm from a country where Sikhism is forbidden, but I converted.

I had to hide and go Sikh

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theslother
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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After Eve did what was forbidden

Adam was very fruitstrated

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fun-dan
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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God: "Don't eat the apple from that tree. It's forbidden."

Eve: "Hold up! Who is Bidden and why does he get all the apples?!"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImInJeopardy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Forbidden Mac and Cheese
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirAeneas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Did you know that guys named Albert are forbidden from celebrating Christmas?

The song clearly says, β€œNo AL, No AL...”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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What food is forbidden at a church banquet?

Deviled Eggs

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/em3179
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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What do you call a German scientist who works with forbidden plants?

A verbotanist.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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There is a tragic story of two melons and their forbidden love...

Their families found out and kept them apart and now they cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoreForce420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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Me and my dyslexics friends when a video is forbidden to minors
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ne0politan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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Forbidden to purchase food, Euclid's elementary algebraic solution.

Buy-no-meal theorem.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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Why did Eve eat the forbidden fruit?

She thought she in the Garden Of Eatin'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usereddit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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A Muslim friend of mine kept dating a gorilla even though her parents told her bestiality is forbidden.

He's her Haram bae

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSnowsGhost
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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Where do bad beavers go?

They're dammed to hell.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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Why can't Trump enter the White House?

Because its forbidden

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Upsurge11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Someone told me "you believe in god? No way!"

And I was like "Yahweh"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quafflethewaffle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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Why can't you email a photo to a jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redtiger123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

Can't-elope.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsNotLongNow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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An Ant is lying in its death bed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to France.They boarded a spy ship which took them to south Korea.From there they boarded a flight to France.With great difficulty they finally reached France.The father ant's health became worse.The son ant was thinking what was so important that they had to move to another country, So when they settled in their new home he finally asked..

Son Ant : Dad, We are in France now you can tell whatever you were going to tell me. The Father could not speak up so he signaled his son to come closer.The son did.

Father Ant: Son, We are now Europeants.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOne77492
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Calling all DadJokers!

Hey there!

I'm an avid dad joker, and it looks like within 24 hours I'll finally be a dad myself. Throughout the pregnancy, I've had a blast making jokes about womb temperature, and ultrasounds making her a womb with a view.

Now is where I need your assistance. I've been expressly forbidden from making any jokes during the labor process, which means I am of course going to make jokes.

Got any great pregnancy/labor/new baby jokes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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FWD: Fwd: FWD FWD: Fwd: Emails from Dad

MAN LAWS

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CampConcentration
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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I'm from a country where Sikhism is forbidden, but I converted.

I had to hide and go Sikh

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theslother
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Why can’t you email a photo to a jedi

because attachments are forbidden

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTorgrim6579
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Why can't you email a document to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lukesky1313
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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Why cant you email a photo to a jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gahandi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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Why can't you email a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FPSHaji
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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