I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
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︎ Feb 23 2021
What do you call a polar bear living in Florida?
A solar bear
Bonus: what do you call a bear that practices dentistry?
A molar bear
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︎ Jan 19 2021
When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Apparently Florida has the highest rate of infidelity in the country...
It's an unfortunate state of affairs.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
This Knee,Florida
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Florida is so gangsta
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Florida man shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun...
...Doctors say he's now fully recovered
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︎ Jul 07 2020
There's an old saying in Florida, "Impeach me once, shame on you. Impeach me twice, shame on Me..."
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︎ Feb 06 2020
The pink plastic birds, popular as lawn ornaments in Florida.....
are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?
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︎ Mar 06 2020
When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...
It was good to see dad's berth place.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
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︎ Aug 30 2019
What are the 2 most prominent gangs in Florida?
The Bloodclots and the Cripples
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︎ Jan 12 2020
Whatβs the opposite of Florida?
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Were going to see alot of this once hurricane Dorian hits southern Florida. And maybe some Axeidental puns that were felled in there.
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︎ Aug 30 2019
Florida - domain of Florida man and puns
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︎ May 28 2019
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︎ Jul 04 2019
On my recent trip to Florida, I noticed there were signs everywhere that said, βbeware of crocsβ
I wonder why they are so afraid of shoes down there.
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︎ Aug 13 2019
My wife just told me that a pizza restaurant in Florida exploded...
I said, "The owner probably had insurance and kneaded the dough."
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︎ Jul 06 2019
My family drove past the highest point in Florida on our way to the beach...
The trip was all downhill from there
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︎ Jun 10 2019
I went to a fund raiser for dolphins recently. Since it was Florida, canopies protected the participants from the sun. The mayor got up to speak.
He said, "for all in tents and porpoises, we come together to raise funds."
Something like that might be a good joke... someday...
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︎ May 24 2019
What do you call a rodent drama set in Florida?
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︎ Sep 22 2018
I had an opportunity to invest in an orange grove in Florida
But after looking online at pictures & looking at the area I decided against it because the whole place looked shady.
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︎ Mar 31 2019
What did the Redneck Hurricane say to Florida?
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︎ Sep 05 2017
Why did Robert Kraft (owner of the New England Patriots) get a happy ending at a massage parlor in Florida???
To get his balls deflated.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
The difference between Washington and Florida is like the difference between apples and oranges.
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︎ Dec 04 2018
I want to go to Florida, but I'm worried about that tzatziki virus.
I heard it makes you falafel.
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︎ Mar 22 2018
I pulled a muscle on my recent vacation to Florida, and I have no idea how.
Iβm thinking of calling C.S.I. My-hammy.
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︎ Sep 29 2018
Did you hear nobody in Florida can drive?
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︎ Sep 11 2017
Someone asked if I was moving to Florida permanently
I replied it was only Tamparary.
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︎ May 11 2018
A classic family Florida vacation...
"She's a navigator, not a get lost for a while crocodile!" Said after my parents were shocked my brother and his new wife where heading in the right direction to the beach.
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︎ Jun 30 2018
I was talking to my dad about the inside African snails in Florida. I asked him how hard it was to catch these snails.
He said, "You have to sneak up on them very slowly.
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︎ Feb 17 2018
Some aquatic mammals at Florida zoos escaped
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︎ Sep 11 2017
What does HIV become at the University of Florida?
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︎ May 13 2017
Driving through Florida with my parents when we see a cow field...
"It must suck to be a cow in Florida, they're probably really hot" said my mom.
"Yeah probably, but not as hot as they'll be when they're on the grill!" replied dad.
Classic dad.
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︎ Aug 20 2016
A retired Florida couple was watching TV. The husband looks outside. As he struggles to get up, he yells to his wife...
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︎ Mar 09 2017
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︎ Aug 14 2014
I was talking to my dad about the African-snail invasion in Florida. I asked him how hard it was to catch these snails.
He said, "First you have to sneak up on them VERY slowly."
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︎ Apr 18 2018
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