A list of puns related to "Fish and chip shop"
A bit odd but it really put that plaice on the map.
Man: Do you do fishcakes?
Fishmonger: no, I'm afraid not, sorry.
Man: Ah, that's a shame - it's his birthday today
Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.
He says to the bloke behind the counter,
βDo you do fishcakes?β
The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.
βYeah mate.β
Customer points to the cod under his arm.
βBetter make him one then mate, itβs his birthday.β
We found love in a hopeless plaice.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donβt think theyβll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donβt turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
βEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, βThe good news is..itβll feel better when it quits hurting.'β
Whatβs brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
βIβll call you later!β- βPlease donβt do that. Iβve always asked you to call me Dad!β
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
βMy dad literally told me this one last week: βDid you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.ββ
βWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, βNo, just leave it in the carton!ββ
I got so angry the other day when I couldnβt find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book Iβve ever read, Iβd say: βWow, thatβs coincidental.β
Iβm not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build itβs house? Igloos it together.
βMe: βDad, make me a sandwich!β Dad: βPoof, Youβre a sandwich!ββ
βI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
βHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyβre all girls, otherwise theyβd be uncles.β
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth β its pasteurized before you even see it
βWhatβs Forrest Gumpβs password? 1forrest1β
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: βDonβt worry; this is a piece of cake.β I said: βNo, itβs a math problem.β
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I donβt play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iβm just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit β‘So my dad and I were walking down the waterfront after getting fish and chips, and we walked past an antique shop. We hadn't been to this area in a while.
Dad: It's been ages since I've been in there.
Me: Well they don't have anything new.
Needless to say he had a chuckle.
I've seen a fish and chip shop called Fishcoteque and a kebab shop called Abrakebabra. But what would be a good name for a Nazi memorabilia/antique shop?
Suggestions gratefully received!
(Equiry purely out of interest, no plans on opening one!)
The fish got battered
The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted
Me: βI knew it, there is no cod!β
Apparently someone got battered
Three fish got battered
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