Went to a fish and chip shop shop that served the food on old atlas pages instead of newspaper.

A bit odd but it really put that plaice on the map.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/donttakethechip
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm...

Man: Do you do fishcakes?

Fishmonger: no, I'm afraid not, sorry.

Man: Ah, that's a shame - it's his birthday today

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YakDangerous5412
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...

He says to the bloke behind the counter,

β€œDo you do fishcakes?”

The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.

β€œYeah mate.”

Customer points to the cod under his arm.

β€œBetter make him one then mate, it’s his birthday.”

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cromantica
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My local fish and chip shop
πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HamLamb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Name idea for a fish and chip shop?

We found love in a hopeless plaice.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Belcherlot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my Dad Today

So my dad and I were walking down the waterfront after getting fish and chips, and we walked past an antique shop. We hadn't been to this area in a while.

Dad: It's been ages since I've been in there.

Me: Well they don't have anything new.

Needless to say he had a chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRandomnez
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Funny name for a shop selling Nazi memorabilia?

I've seen a fish and chip shop called Fishcoteque and a kebab shop called Abrakebabra. But what would be a good name for a Nazi memorabilia/antique shop?

Suggestions gratefully received!

(Equiry purely out of interest, no plans on opening one!)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frood77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
There was a fight in the fish and chip shop

The fish got battered

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop

The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmazingAlasdair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The fish and chip shop: β€œSorry sir we’re all out of fish.”

Me: β€œI knew it, there is no cod!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?

Apparently someone got battered

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatjesus10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop

Three fish got battered

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0LORD-VADER0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.