An anthropologist was cataloging south american folk remedies with the assistance a local tribal elder who indicated the leaves of a particular fern were the best cure for constipation. The anthropologist had doubts.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I just sold a house with ferns throughout and a safe in the attic

The buyers loved that it was fully fernished with a vaulted ceiling

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MLaBolle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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How does a fern make new ferns?

They fernicate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seehowitsfaded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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I was at the store deciding between a saltwater aquarium and a houseplant to decorate my home. I finally settled on a beautiful fern.

I said to my wife, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xtowers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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Would an example of a power plant be a Joules Fern?
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cuber1717
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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mobile-fern
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πŸ‘€︎ u/microwave-hair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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Gardening question: Anyone know a good place to buy a fern?

Asking for a frond.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
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stationary fern
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πŸ‘€︎ u/microwave-hair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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I don't know why people are making a big deal about Obama appearing between Two Ferns...

I mean, Bill Clinton appeared between Two Bushes.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
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What household item can you make from ferns?

Fern-iture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buglepost
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2017
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I keep my fern in my bedroom, but only if my aquarium is next to my bed

I've always been told you should keep your fronds close but your anemones closer.

(In comic form)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faschwaa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonPhyres
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Fungi.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggzu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Just got hired and I'm already *that* employee

Me: (assembling boxes) i'll watch out for that plant.

Boss: yes please do, i've had that fern since it was just a sprout.

Me: awww. they grow up so fast.

Boss: yes. it'll probably start going to college soon.

Me: think it'll go to an... ivy league?

Boss: ...

Me: ...

Boss: ...

Me: ...so yeah I'll just pack these boxes and watch out for the plant.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winnersbitch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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How do you call for help when lost in the wilderness?

By using a mobile fern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xREZ0LUTI0N
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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I thought /r/puns might enjoy these

A couple puns.

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."


There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).

edit: just a bit of formatting showing difference from one pun the other

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-REDDlT-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2012
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Some highlights from our family trip last weekend

Oldest son (at a restaurant): do they accept dogs here? Me: no, it's cash or card

Waitress (bringing our after dinner drinks): I have three ports. Me: it was supposed to be two ports and a starboard

Youngest son (while we were driving): look, a cow... nevermind, it's gone Me: yes, we mooooved on...

Me: those plants around the redwoods are ferns Oldest son: they grow really close to the trees Me: yeah, they're really frondly...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
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Dad joked dad

So I was walking along a bush path with my dad and brother and I was smashing them one after the other

"dad I keep feeling these plants, they probably want me to leaf it alone hahaha. How fern-y am I haha. If you guys don't like these jokes, I have found the root of the problem. I should probably branch out on my type of jokes, but I'm totally rockin it. I am having the moss-t amount of fun right now hahaha".

I thought it was hilarious but they just looked at me haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silly-bowser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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