Frond Puns

I’m asking for a frond.

But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

"I have to live in a Sea Anemone to keep me safe from preditors"

Jelly Fish shows off its tanticles; "With fronds like these, who needs Anemones."

Keep your friends close and your anenomes closer

Because they have lots of fronds.

I said to my wife, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Well, they don't exactly call them Sea Afriends do they?

It has no fronds.

Asking for a frond.

A couple puns.

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).

edit: just a bit of formatting showing difference from one pun the other

Insurance frond

I saw a palm tree on a dating site. "Not looking for anything serious. Just FRONDS with benefits..."

Oldest son (at a restaurant): do they accept dogs here? Me: no, it's cash or card

Waitress (bringing our after dinner drinks): I have three ports. Me: it was supposed to be two ports and a starboard

Youngest son (while we were driving): look, a cow... nevermind, it's gone Me: yes, we mooooved on...

Me: those plants around the redwoods are ferns Oldest son: they grow really close to the trees Me: yeah, they're really frondly...

I've always been told you should keep your fronds close but your anemones closer.

(In comic form)