What did the Captain of the Evergreen Cargo ship say when he realised he'd messed up?

Damn!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D3ltaforc3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.

It's about thyme.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eth0null
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What do you call an apple grown in an evergreen forest?

A pine apple

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jsingham
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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The other trees are evergreen with envy
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Randyotter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?

An evergreen

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/7bladesofgrass
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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So I my son started to bark at me

Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WisdomThingy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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My sister is a dad

Talking about some dead trees in her back yard

"It just killed the evergreens...

Now they're everbrown."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StillUnbroke
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 10 2015
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Older gentleman told this joke at a Boy Scout campfire program a while ago. Thought it would fit here.

Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. We weren't scared though, since our park ranger guide told us that bears can be scared off by making lots of noise, like yelling or hitting sticks on trees. Anyway, me and one of my friends, we'll call him Frank, were out exploring in the woods. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy.

After a while, we got hungry, so we decided to sit down and eat our packed lunch. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. I thought, "Uh, oh! Frank must've seen a bear!", so I took off after him. Frank was running so fast, we must have run for miles at breakneck speed. Eventually, he started to tire, and as I got closer, I saw why Frank screamed and started running. He had sat on a bear trap, and it was stuck fast to his rear end! We had a good laugh about it, but the bear trap really did leave its mark.

It's been a long time since that happened, and Frank hasn't run in while, but I like to tell this story because it explains why Frank's only half-fast now.

(If you don't get the joke, say the last sentence out loud)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hoofpint
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2016
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Bush Joke

Today on a walk, my wife asked me, "Are those bushes evergreen?"

I replied, "Of course. They're green right now."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jdfoote
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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