I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.
You could say I went over the edge.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
All of the world eventually got the virus
But China got it right off the bat
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Two antenna met on a roof and eventually got married
The ceremony wasnβt much but the reception was incredible
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
As the bears ripen, they become heavier and eventually fall off π
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
One time my friends really wanted me to join them for a fishing excursion. I didn't want to at first but eventually joined them...
I am afraid that I succumbed to pier pressure.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
I knew my dad's influence would eventually pay off.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
My dog happily chased a fly around the house, eventually nabbing it in one chomp.
I guess it's true: time's fun when you're having flies!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
I didn't like Africa by Toto at first, or any of their other songs. But eventually I grew to really like them
I guess love isn't always on time
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Eventually everyone will be quarantined to their homes without sports and in 9 months babies will be born.
They will be known as the Coronials
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Poor Bart eventually caught Coronavirus..
...He was displaying the usual Simpsons.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
A murderer who had poisoned his victims with iron supplements eventually and inadvertantly poisoned himself.
When he realized his mistake, he immediately called the police and confessed to all of the killings before laying down upon his death bed awaiting his own end, the same end that he had inflicted upon so many others. News media quickly came to the hospital and the killer was eventually asked two questions by two seperate reporters, one question following the other so quickly that he could not respond to the first before hearing the second. The first reporter asked, "How did the coffee taste that tipped you off into realizing you had poisoned yourself?" Where the second reporter blurted out, "How would you describe this situation where you have killed yourself by the very means you used to kill others?"
The murderous man only responded once before breathing his last breath:
"Irony," he replied.
π︎ 188
π
︎ Feb 09 2019
A guy is walking along, and he continues to walk. Eventually he walks into a well. Why did the guy walk into a well?
He couldnβt see that well
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
Eventually, weβre all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards
The writing is on the wall
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
Once a Bank of America Bank cheque was lying next to a Wells Fargo Bank cheque, they started talking to each other and became friends....eventually, they became so close that they became
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
My friend stole my broken pen but eventually returned it.
That doesn't make it write.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 26 2019
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but eventually left...
...it was just one ting after another
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
I was struggling to find a sale on boating equipment. Eventually I did find one.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
The phone was ringing for a while and I eventually got up to get it.
"Are you going to answer that call anytime today?" yelled my wife.
"No," I replied. "Probably a simple 'hello' will suffice."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 29 2019
When in college, I made a bookcase out of bricks and boards, which eventually fell to pieces...
It had a short shelf life!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
It took the Simian Council weeks of tense negotiating for a new Constitution, but eventually...
it all ended with a Round of Ape Laws.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
TIL: George Washington predicted that eventually the $1 bill will contain his likeness.
In that regard, he was on the money.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 18 2019
When I was shadowing for my new school with my parents, we eventually walked into the math room, and saw a dry-erase board.
My dad couldn't resist the urge, and so, he shouted out:
"That's remarkable!"
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 02 2019
If a trophy wife sits around long enough sheβll eventually atrophy
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 23 2019
Last night I was late to a dinner with friends because I couldn't find any parking. Eventually, I just parked the car in a place with a lot of foot traffic.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
Once, I got drunk and swallowed a bunch of letter-shaped fridge magnets. They all came out eventually... except for the U
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 20 2017
If you keep trying the same sudoku puzzle, you willl eventually solve it.
It's just a numbers game, really.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 22 2017
All countries eventually got Coronavirus...
But China got it right off the bat.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
All countries eventually got the coronavirus but...
china got it right of the bat
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
All countries got coronavirus eventually, but...
China got it right off the bat!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
π︎ 40
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
Every country will get COVID-19 eventually...
but China got it right off the bat.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 747
π
︎ May 10 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.