I bought audiobook version of Encyclopedia Britannica

It speaks volumes to me

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...

She's nun the wiser!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I asked my wife for an audiobook for my birthday, but she got me an encyclopedia instead.

That spoke volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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The encyclopedia article about Calvary has a lot of footnotes

You can say it is extensively cross referenced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_brown_clown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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What is the best way to send somebody an encyclopedia?

A facts machine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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What do you call when you fall in love with encyclopedia

In-fact-tuated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xd_Velociraptor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I got a multi-volume encyclopedia about Egyptian mythology and history. Bought the full Set.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerdfighter8842
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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I've decided to give away my set of Encyclopedia Britannica.

My wife knows everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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I once fell in love with an encyclopedia.

I was completely in-fact-uated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MusicMan83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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A newly wed gave away his complete set of encyclopedia Britannica.

He says his new bride knows everything...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait. I can explain everything!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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A: See thru Blouse.

Q: Name one volume of a backward encyclopedia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I slept so badly last night I started reading the dictionary

By 4am I was past caring...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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A man gets arrested

The cop: You’re under arrest for stealing those encyclopedias.

The man: Wait! I can explain everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twokewl101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book β€œHow to Hug” from the library.

Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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A panda walks into a restaurant.

He seats himself at a table. The sight is so strange that the owner comes over personally and asks, "Can I help you?" The panda replies, "Do you have anything with bamboo?" The owner answers, "We have a few Chinese dishes that have bamboo." The panda says, "I'll just have the bamboo." So the owner heads to the kitchen and soon returns with a plate of bamboo. The panda eats every last morsel, then pulls out a pistol, fires it into the ceiling, and walks out. The owner is startled and completely confused, so he follows the panda all the way back to the zoo. When he finds the zoo keeper, he walks up and asks, "Do you have any idea what your panda just did? He came into my restaurant, ate a bunch of bamboo, pulled out a pistol, fired it into the ceiling, and walked out." The zoo keeper replied, "Well, of course, he's a panda; that's what they do." Then, when he saw the owner was still confused, added, "Haven't you ever read about pandas?" More confused than ever, the owner walks home. He gets out his old set of encyclopedias, dusts off the letter "P, " and turns to the entry on pandas: "The panda is a large mammal, native to China; it eats bamboo shoots and leaves."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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Story time!

A baker and his wife had a child. A lovely, healthy boy. Since the wife was mad about history, she wanted to give the boy a name suitable for a man destined for great things. Jokes were made, names proposed, but in the end the decision was made - they named the boy Attila.

Attila showed great potential from an early age - he excelled at sports, grew strong, but his other capabilities were astonishing as well. He learned and went through encyclopedias like a fire through forests. Surely enough, he was bound to become a great man some day.

Apart from being an exceptional young man, he loved animals as well. He was kind and compassionate, equally cherishing all forms of life. Since his parents loved him so much, they bought him all he ever wanted - but he did not ask for much, he was never greedy.

Growing up, he has received many animals as pets - there were cats, dogs, hamsters and even exotic animals - tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, you name it.

Their home became a sort of an animal sanctuary, and Attila took care of all animals with love and passion. But, the family business was starting to suffer when his father the baker got ill.

Being the amazing young man he was, Attila stepped up and started learning secrets of the trade - he started baking like no one else.

But, since he devoted his time to the bakery, the animals were starting to be neglected. He tried feeding them, petting them, but nothing helped.

Slowly, one by one the animals passed away leaving behind only the most resistant ones - the snake and a few spiders.

The spiders were easy to take care of, but the snake wouldn't eat, no matter what. Saddened, Attila came to his mother and asked for advice as he was all out of ideas. Of course, being the caring mother she always was, she passed on her knowledge to Attila:

"This anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, Hun."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeviantClam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
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Dad Joke Daily - The Middle Aged

https://youtu.be/1JVma0S-UXI

Michael talks about medievil times and why it is always important to consult your Encyclopedia Brittanica.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impulsive-ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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I asked my wife for an audio book for my birthday, but she got me an encyclopedia.

That spoke volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I asked my wife for an audio book for my birthday, but she got me an encyclopedia.

That spoke volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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I asked my wife for an audio book this Christmas, but she got me an encyclopedia instead.

That speaks volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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I asked my wife for a single audiobook and she got me an encyclopedia.

That speaks volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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I asked my wife for an audiobook and she got me an encyclopedia.

That speaks volumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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