Lord Of The Rings Book Reference
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/MemeMaker_
šŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Cop: Iā€™m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!

Man: Wait, I can explain everything!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/porichoygupto
šŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Oldie From Facebook
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Martynzer0star
šŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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Probably one of the deepest books you will ever read

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/TeeribleMureal
šŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Dralnu22
šŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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This happened about 15 years ago but it still makes me laugh, thanks Dad...

When I was about 5/6 I was filling out one of those "FunFax" books (Image for reference).

I started filling out the page about me and I got to the section on allergies. Unaware that I had any, I asked my dad "Do I have any allergies?"

My Dad replied "Yeah, soap"

Obviously at the age of 5/6 I didn't realise he was joking, we found the book a few years later to find I actually wrote "Soap" down.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/joebell93
šŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
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My music teacher is obviously a dad.

I was in music class today and my teacher picked up a folder a pupil in the previous class had left behind. The folder was labelled 'French' and on top of it there was a book that said 'Speaking Book' (obviously referring to French Speaking practice).

My music teacher then opened the book and put it to his ear. With a confused look on his face he exclaimed: 'Well I can't hear anything!' Groaning from all the class then ensued.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ollismith
šŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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Dad finest joke

Dad: You know, if you put everything you find on that site and print it up, it would be reddit...in a book.

This is in reference to the movie Dodgeball. My father thought it would be important to add that note. Thought I'd share.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Mothe_Bear
šŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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Got dadjoked trying to golf.

In reference to trying to play Bethpage Black

Me: you're a New York resident, so you can book a tee time 7 days in advance.

Roommate: Does the tee time work for multiple people?

Me: yes.

Roommate: So, we can have a tee party?

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šŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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