I told my wife to embrace her mistakes

So she gave me a hug!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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I told my wife that she should embrace her mistakes.

Then she smiled and hugged me tightly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My wife wants me to embrace my feminine side

So I crashed the car

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaotic_psychotic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?

Answers on a postcard please.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Why blueberries don't embrace Western values?

Because they are antioxidant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dekadense
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes. He had tears in his eyes.

Then he hugged my sister and me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajays97
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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My boyfriend once said to embrace my mistake

I cried and hugged him .

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Amidst several groans, my dad and I were the only ones to laugh. Is your early 20s too early to embrace the dadjoke?

Earlier today, I entered the living room where my parents, younger brother, and some of his friends were hanging out. I proceeded to sit cross-legged (something I don't normally do) on a comfy, unoccupied armchair. My mom stared nostalgically at me and said, "You remind me of my dad. Back when he was alive, he used to sit exactly like that." Without missing a beat, my dad chimed in with, "I guess you could say he is a sitting image of his grandfather."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lord_of_catan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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Step-dad joked. Embrace change.

Was at my girlfriends graduation when the valedictorian said something about embracing change. Girlfriends Step-dad reached in his pocket, pulled out a nickel and handed it to my girlfriends brother and said "here ya go. Embrace it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickgenova
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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Garden centre embracing both Christmas and Puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobleMoistHam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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Me: Honey, we will all be happier if we start embracing our flaws.

Her: [gives me a hug]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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Wife : "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment to cheer me up"

"You have perfect eyesight"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.

He’s really embraced remote learning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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My dad has embraced his Christmas spirit.

Mom hangs up ornament on tree different ornament falls Mom: "My god this was not hung properly!" Dad: "Well at least I'm hung properly"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analmintz1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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Room full of dads
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barbarus623
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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Highly chill Dad
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4foryouglencoco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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I asked my dad how he manages to make his trousers last.

He told me he makes the coats first...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imaginary_moose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I was talking to a girl who makes historically accurate clothing for fun.

It started out as just one dress, but she enjoyed it so much that she started making more. She told us that she is now fully embracing her hobby, and had decided to wear corsets for a week to prove that they can be comfortable and not torture devices. To which I replied: "So I guess you could say that your hobby is fully embracing you!"

Bonus: About 10 minutes previous, I had told one of the other people in the conversation that I'd been practicing my dad jokes for years before my daughter was born.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaquito_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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Wife asks her husband "Am I the only one you've ever been with?"

The husband replies reassuringly "yes you are honey" -- to which his wife embraces him comfortably

...the husband continues on to say "the rest have been 8's, 9's, and even some 10's!"

Edit: why was this marked as wholesome LOL

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imOVN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Someone asked if I would want to have 4 arms

I told them I already had forearms...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lambbla000
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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Got the girlfriend while cuddling

Cuddling on the couch in an embrace I grabbed her boob and started to nod off. She noticed and said: Every time you grab my boob you calm down. You're like a baby. To which I replied: It's the breast stress relief....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISiupick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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Starting a hug . . .

My wife and I decided to have leftovers for dinner last night. As I was leaving to pick up our kid from day care, she asked "can I start anything for you?"

I started walking over to her and said "you can start a hug for me!"

She raised her arms slightly but didn't embrace me; I mostly bounced off of her.

She was grinning like mad. "I started a hug for you!"

This got a good laugh out of me, but she wasn't done yet.

"You walked right into that one!"

"Literally and figuratively!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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So there are these twins in my calculus class...

So in my calculus class last year in math, there were these two Chinese twins. Ving, and Ling. Ving was always super cool with me. In exchange for answers (he was super smart) I would hang out with him and be his friend and stuff. After I cheated off of him and studied with him though, I did get to be his friend and we got very close.

His sister, Ling, was always uptight about school and she made sure to study, she got stressed about a B, etc. One day I was hanging out with Ving, and we started talking about names. He went off on this huge rant about how he hated his, and how he wanted to change it to something more Asian-American, like Lee. I told him that the Courthouse downtown had a form that you could fill to legally change it. He told me: "I always give you answers. If you could just drive me down to the courthouse this one time, I will never forget you. I just hate this god-forsaken Chinese name and I want to get rid of it forever."

He seemed pretty adamant about it, so I decided the best decision would be to take him. We walked out to my car, and right as I put the keys in the ignition Ling came running and tapped on the car door like a madman. I rolled it down and she started freaking out about how Ving's name had been passed down through generations and generations, but Ving didn't care. He just wanted to go down to the Courthouse and get it over with.

Ling figured that coming with would be the best idea, so if anything else came up that she would be needed for, she would be there for Ving. Honestly, I felt stuck in the middle of a family feud, so I just took her along. When we got to the Courthouse, Ving confidently walked up to the front desk and asked the receptionist if he could change his name. She gave him a little packet of paper and told him to sit down. Ling and I waited patiently while Ving filled out his info. I was watching him fill it out and I noticed he really did want to change his name to Lee.

Before he finished, though, he started tearing up. He told me he couldn't change his name. He asked the lady at the front that he couldn't do it, and she told him he would need twenty dollars to cancel the request. Ling was so relieved and happy that he changed his mind, she dug through her purse, found the money, and started to hand it to the receptionist.

It was at this moment that the most stereotypical Asian man burst through the doors. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a visor, American flag shorts, flip flops, everything. This

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unknown_name
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Dad Joke on Shark Tank

A young kid had just made a deal with one of the sharks and got a $300,000 investment in his natural flavored bee honey company.

After the deal was made, he walked to his parents waiting outside, explained the situation and the family joyfully embraced and his mother exclaimed "Ohhh, honey!"

Dad - "...Was that a pun?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoSpringChicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
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A dad informs his son of his heritage.

A dad walks up to his son and says, "Son, I think it's about time I told you about your real heritage. You see son, you're half-Arabic." The son is very surprised: "What?! Dad, I thought we were white!"

The dad fumbles around behind his back for a minute and says, "I know it comes as a shock, but I think in time, I can help you embrace your roots." He then pulls a paper bag from behind his back and puts it on his head: "In the meantime, you can call me BAG DAD."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TundieRice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2016
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Sup /r/dadjokes. I turned some of your jokes into simple graphics for shirts. And I wrote The Dad Joke Manifesto. Join the movement!

I spent a good portion of my youth rolling my eyes at my father's jokes. But deep down, I loved 'em. I have a great Dad. But I'm not really the best at saying "I love you". I was reading /r/dadjokes recently and I had an idea. I should turn my Dad's favorite joke into a t-shirt. Then, on Father's Day, I could video chat with him while I wear the shirt.

I think he would love the shit out of that, you know? Like, maybe he will think "Wow, my son gets it. He actually likes my humor!"

Then I thought, I could turn a bunch of these jokes into shirts. So I did. You can see them here:

http://www.funnyshirts.org/s/dadjokes

And then I thought, man, if I could get more people to do nothing else on Father's Day but to embrace their Dad's sense of humor... that would be pretty cool. It would make a lot of Dads happy.

So I wrote the Dad Joke Manifesto:

http://dadjokemanifesto.tumblr.com/themanifesto

You don't have to use t-shirts. Just make a good joke. Employ puns. Think about your Dad's style, his favorite joke, and embrace it.

If you can dig it, then join the movement. Send me your favorite Dad Jokes. Join us on:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

If nothing else, follow along for some good dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbenz
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...

she gave me a hug

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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I told my wife to embrace her mistakes...

then she hugged me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?

I hug my wife and children

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredvanvleetsr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...

And then she gave me a huge hug.

πŸ‘︎ 572
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfidelCastrato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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I told my wife to embrace her mistakes...

So she hugged me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dhark-Dra-Khan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes

She hugged me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/santilfu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

And then she gave me a huge hug.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minyoonghee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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