My superpower, _________, far exceeds your abilities /r/AskOuija/comments/fylm…
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Looking to sell my DeLorean...

...I’ve only driven it from time to time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrailedFox44
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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What happened to the sunbeam that exceeded the speed of light?

It was sent to prism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on my mobile and the feed shut off.

I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My drunk friend was kicked out of Karaoke for singing β€œDanger Zone” 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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My friend was fired from his lumberjack job after failing to cut down a tree 8 times...

He had exceeded the maximum number of loggin' attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BZW77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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What dad joke gets a laugh every time?

I'm male and when people ask me about my family I tell them I have four brothers. "No sisters?" "Nope. I'm the only girl."

When I fry an egg for breakfast as I'm cracking the egg into the pan I say "Whoa! This pan is hot enough to fry an egg!" Although this one gets a laugh every time it doesn't really count because I'm usually the only person in the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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Our system of government is based on a system of checks and balances.

The key to making it work well is for people to not write checks that exceed their balances.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiaor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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I got booted off stage at a Karaoke bar. I was trying to sing 'Danger Zone' from that Top Gun movie. I forgot the lyrics three times.

They said I exceeded my Loggins attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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And lo, an angel appeared unto the prophet Isaiah, and said:

Angel: "Behold! I exceed ninety degrees!"

Isaiah: "Uh... what?"

And the angel gave no explanation and vanished.

Isaiah muttered: "What an obtuse angel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
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Call me...

My siblings and I call our dad "Papa", a moniker that was exceedingly embarrassing to me as a kid because we weren't like everyone else who used "Dad". We'd occasionally ask him if we could switch to "Dad" to be more normal. His reply? "Call me whatever you want, kids. Just don't call me late for dinner."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elaporte
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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Great, just got kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times.

Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of attempted Loggins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Karaoke barred

Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing "Danger Zone" five times

Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts..

(from twitter)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row...

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone 5 times...

Apparently I exceeded the amount of Loggins attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanatheapostate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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My friend was fired from his lumberjack job after failing to cut down a tree 8 times.

He had exceeded the maximum number of loggin' attempts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times

I guess I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attemps.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sickspaq
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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