Surpasses Puns

I have an autistic student who doesn't pick up on sarcasm, social cues and the like.

We were painting paper mache volcanoes that we made. Another staff member says "Don't put too much paint on because it will run."

Without missing a beat the student asks (in a serious manner) "How can it run if it doesn't have legs?"

Me: sweetie, you need to tell your friend no.

Daughter: no

Me: now tell her why

Daughter: why

Me: facepalm

Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.

He said "don't worry I'm flexible"

to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."

He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.

"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."

"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."

I have officially become more dad than my own dad.

So we're in the car driving to the airport and my dad's talking about his buddy Terry. Terry was in some small movie and my dad was commenting that he played both the referee in a footy game, and then it cut to a shot of the crowd and THERE WAS TERRY. My dad goes "I mean, he could have at least put a different shirt on to create the illusion he was someone else. How silly of him!"

My sister says "You should be real careful dad, you shouldn't make fun of him. You can die from dissin' Terry"

Cue groans and laughter, and my dad conceding the apprentice has surpassed the master.